


an idiot's affections

by makochiu



Category: Overwatch (Video Game)
Genre: Blackwatch Era, Blackwatch Genji Shimada, Blackwatch Jesse McCree, Blackwatch Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Blood and Injury, Canon Compliant, Canon-Typical Violence, First Kiss, Fluff and Angst, Idiots in Love, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Jesse + Reyes have like a father/son relationship u know the drill, M/M, Major Character Injury, Mutual Pining, Post-Overwatch Recall, Slow Burn but like Not Really, Trans Genji Shimada, genji is... tsundere, i believe in mcgenji supremacy, jesse + reyes r both hispanic and i think thats very awesome, jesse is pure of heart dumb of ass, lena and mccree r bffs, moira is like evil Wait nvm that's canon don't mind me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-01
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-06 22:14:00
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 15
Words: 29,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26236225
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/makochiu/pseuds/makochiu
Summary: It had been ordered by Doctor Zielger that Genji were to have a roommate.Get to know his teammates, regain normality and comfort.He'd just planned on ignoring them, but he didn’t anticipate how unignorable his roommate would be.
Relationships: Ana Amari & Genji Shimada, Background Mei-Ling Zhou/Angela "Mercy" Ziegler, Genji Shimada & Angela "Mercy" Ziegler, Jesse McCree & Reaper | Gabriel Reyes, Jesse McCree/Genji Shimada, Reaper | Gabriel Reyes & Genji Shimada
Comments: 23
Kudos: 79





	1. Chapter 1

It had been ordered by Doctor Zielger that Genji were to have a roommate. Despite his adamancy towards staying with her, for he knew too well the dangers of being unattended with shurikens in your arms, she advised that he socialise. Get to know his teammates, regain normality and comfort. 

An impossible task, when what you considered safety and normality tore you limb from limb and left you begging for a mercy too far from your reach. When your brother, one you’d shared laughs and tears and affections with time and time again, was the one to try and kill you with a blade you once sparred with… how could normality ever exist? Peace no longer crossed Genji’s mind: what did was a bloodlust consuming him from his core, a hunger for revenge and a desperation for time to reverse. But blood already painted the ground, and what humanity was there faded with the wind. Eyes red with blood-stained hands, black hair with any evidence of his past self faded. Friendships would not be easy.

But, Angela was not the type to accept no for an answer, as her hope for others made her an angel. And Genji had to appreciate her kindness - she  _ did  _ save his life. He can spend most of his time ignoring the unfortunate soul rooming with him, was his thought process.

He didn’t anticipate how unignorable his roommate would be.

“Howdy! You’re Genji, right? I’m Jesse Mccree. Pleased to meetcha.” He couldn’t believe his eyes. He’d seen characters in the past, considering his frivolous one-night stands, but… this man was the stereotypical American cowboy he thought only existed in movies. Though it is fair to say all expectations for reality were thrown out of the window once his own flesh and blood left him bleeding, and what was lost got replaced with machinery functioning as limbs, this was... a new level of madness. 

“Hello, Mccree.” Masking his shock with a cool attitude, he breezed past the man and began unloading the few things he had. Anything from his past belonged to the old Genji Shimada, and now all he owned was a few hoodies and a plush toy Angela gave him. A silly recovery gift that made him feel warm inside, a feeling that scarcely remained. As he sorted himself out, he reminded himself of his thought process, that if he were to act cold and distant, no one would dare approach him unless they wanted a blade to the throat. A suspicious look and a sigh from his roommate signalled success, and a short lived relief flowed through Genji’s body. 

Jesse, however, was plotting many ways he would befriend Genji. From what Angie had told him, he was two years younger than him with a terrible family background and betrayal, almost mirroring Jesse’s life. Though his farm-life family, with his mum’s warm hugs and siblings squeals could nowhere near compare to a clan with a history of crime in which Genji was ultimately another victim of, Deadlock was, well, another story. He still wondered how Ashe was feeling right now. Knowing that woman, she had a dartboard with Jesse's face on it that she angrily shot at every hour. The thought brought both nerves and amusement to Jesse. If it weren’t for Reyes' offer, he’d be rotting in prison and the gang would most definitely have him killed before a month passed in that hell place. Granted, the irony of a gang member becoming an Overwatch member was one that made many snicker at, but no one could mention this directly. Reyes favoured Jesse. Their dynamic was that of a father and son, though they’d never admit such a thing. 

With that thought crossing him, Jesse internally slapped himself - he’d gotten sidetracked. His eyes flickered to Genji, who was perched on his bed curled into a hoodie 2 sizes too big for him. Bless him. Jesse couldn’t imagine what it would be like to lose his limbs and have them replaced with… robot parts… especially if they were stolen from a brother you held so close. He wanted to give him comfort, tell him how he’s one of the most gorgeous men he’d ever seen and how no amount of robotic prosthetics could change that fact. But he chose to stay silent. He  _ was  _ a ninja, a ninja with a desperation to spill blood. Doing such a thing would make Jesse lose a limb, and he swore he would never do such a thing.

“Not much of a talker, are ya?”

“What do you want?”

“Nothin’, doll. Just wanted to try and be friends with a roommate, for once. All my old ones hated me.”

“And you think I’m any different?”

“I guess not. But, hey, can’t blame a man for tryin’!”

That was as far as they got on the first day. 

“‘Ey, Reyes, do you think… Does my new roommate hate me? Like… did you see that death glare he gave me while we were sparrin’?! Dios mios, Reyes, I thought he’d kill me for real.” Helping himself to the toast that had popped from the toaster, Jesse walked to the tap and got a glass of water. He didn’t have the energy to cook a proper breakfast, and this was one Ana and Reyes couldn’t yell at him for ‘being unhealthy’. Just some toast and water. Ain’t hurting nobody.

“Mijo, you’ve never been one to be so concerned about this, what on earth happened? But, no, he doesn’t hate you. He just doesn’t give a shit about you.” A sip of his coffee and a curl into the sofa he hadn’t left in 12 hours, Jesse adjusted the blanket covering Reyes’ legs and sat beside him, a plate of toast on his lap.

“Well, that ain’t good either, padre. I don’t really want this to end like the others did.” Previous roommates flashed into his mind, memories chopped up but still so clear.

One had tried to stab Jesse after he tried to grab something from  _ his  _ drawer, and Reyes wouldn’t rest until they were re-roomed. It’s part of the reason Jesse sleeps with a knife under his pillow.

The next was never around, and when they were they would be heavily drunk. There’s only so much vomit on the carpet you can handle until you want to be re-roomed yourself.

And the next… well, Jesse isn’t apologising for that one. You make a rude jab like that and you’re begging for a gun to the head.

“Well, Genji mostly keeps to himself from what the doctor says, so you’ll be fine mijo. Just don’t whip a gun out on him like last time.”

“Hey, they had it coming, ok?” 

“I woulda reacted the same, but it doesn’t mean it’s the right fucking decision, smartass.” A slam of the cup against wood and a glare directed towards Jesse, the bags under his eyes deepening, only urged for the conversation to end.

Catching the hint, Jesse arose and took his washing up to the sink. He’ll deal with it later. It’s not like anyone else will - he’s seen the plates and cups pile up until it’s a mountain that could collapse on you, burying you alive. “Alright, I get it…” Before leaving, he glanced over at the sleep-deprived shell of a fiery commander. “Padre, promise me you’ll sleep tonight. I’ll watch over you until you sleep, and I ain’t a man to go back on my word.” He grinned at himself. He always had been one to keep to promises and loyalties. It nearly cost him his head.

“You don’t have to do that… I swear, I’ll sleep. But if I sleep for 48 hours straight, I’m blaming it on you!” A stern voice mismatched with a mischievous grin. Reyes had once slept for nearly 48 hours, shortly after Jesse had been recruited. Whenever mentioned, he puts on an angry facade and acts as if the place was falling apart whilst he slept. Truth be told, he’d been given many blankets and when he woke up he was greeted with coffee and food to make up for the hunger developed over the resting hours. All Jesse’s fault, of course. It was the first time he’d seen Reyes genuinely smile (Don’t forget, he ruffled Jesse’s hair and called him ‘mijo’ in such a fatherly voice! Who could forget that!) and it was a memory he held close to his heart and soul. 

“A’ight, Reyes. Rest well.”

With every step towards his room, his heart rhythmically followed. A step, a beat. A pause, a skipped beat. The nerves were unnecessary, though such a reminder didn’t cease the panic. Genji didn’t hate him, he just didn’t care for him. A sharp yet truthful dag, straight at the heart. He’d had plenty of those these past few years, considering his fall from Deadlock and his rise to Blackwatch. Not the most heroic life for him to lead, but it’s true. He doesn’t like feeling on edge, which is why he was determined to dilute the nerves from their source.

Just as he grabbed the door handle, it slammed open from the other side, shaking the wall it flew open from. The air inside the room was suffocating, menacing and it didn’t help what nerves were there. But, unwilling to be defeated by his own anxiety, Jesse stepped inside and greeted the fizzing darkness inside, all sourced from one hurt man.

“You a’ight, Genji? You look pretty, um… dead, curled up on the floor like that.” It was no exaggeration: Genji had buried his head into his cybernetic knees, blind to his surroundings and his killer grip leaving marks on what skin remained.

“I am just tired. Do not refer to me so informally, Mccree.”

“Ma bad. I’m, y’know, just… concerned for ya. I’ve been in a similar situation, I just thought that-” as soon as the words left his mouth, he nearly lost it. Genji arose with his shurikens flying into the wall, bladed ankles embedded in the wall to gain height above the taller man. Killer glare, eyes aglow with all hues of murder, as if blood could pour from them instead of tears. No remorse for those he hurt, humanity scarce, eyes lacking mercy… an expression he's only seen once before. That day, he had wished he’d never see it again. Clearly, the universe was not one to keep promises.

“You think you know how I feel?  _ Baka mitai _ ! You think, you truly think, your life can in any way compare to mine? You still have your limbs, you were not betrayed by your flesh and blood, you don’t have to live everyday debating if you should even be ali-” The words were spat with venom and fire - retaliation was anticipated, but not welcomed.

“I KNOW I don’t know how it feels, which is why I wanna know so I can help! You really think I haven’t been betrayed before, that I sleep every night without… horrible, unspeakable dread over me? Madre de Dios, Genji! I’m tryin’ to help but if you’d rather suffer, be my guest! I don’t have to put up with this.” A sharp shove to the ground, completely unhinging Genji from the wall and leaving him curled in a similar position to what he was found in, Jesse muttered Spanish under his breath and stormed out, burning footprints into the ground he stomped on. 

A mix of regret and anger flowed through Jesse’s veins, as he weaved through the hallways he’d paced down time and time again. He tried to help, he tried to support Genji the best way he could. Questions flooded through his brain, though he couldn’t understand them; any thoughts became static. A loud, violent static that tore you limb from limb from the insanity. 

Hey, maybe he’d finally know how Genji felt.

Not that it’d be good enough.


	2. Chapter 2

“Get out, get out, get out GET OUT!” 5 minutes before, this room had just been cleaned. Now, glass shards painted the floor and shurikens pierced through the walls, yet it wasn’t good enough. Despite the torn bed sheets, and the broken bedside tables, and the door falling off the hinges, despite all the venom that he had spat, and the fire trapped in his throat, and the burning sensation in his limbs that were no longer there, and the tears that stung his eyes… he continued to destroy. He knew how to access the wires in his arms, he’d done it before. Angela had given him an earful last time, sobbing that he should never resort to such measures when angry.

But Angela wasn’t here, and with luck she’d never find him.

“Hey, Jesse, are you okay? You seem like you’re upset…” Blind from anger, he hadn’t realised he’d walked right to Angie’s door. She always had bags under her eyes, yet her concerns were always on others…. Didn’t she ever wish to be selfish? To look after herself and not this grown man sobbing over an argument with a man he’d just met?

“No, Angie… I’m really not… but I’ll be a’ight, no need to worry!” Throat tightening, he acknowledged she’d only grow more concerned. He’d never been great at hiding his feelings, for he was a man that wore his heart on his sleeve since birth. His mum always said she was glad he never hid feelings, for that can make them so much worse, but considering the professions he followed, he wished he knew. He could endure anything, he could withstand any physical pain, yet emotions were his weakest point, and he feared it could be the cause of a bullet to the brain.

“Jesse, why don’t you talk to me? It’s regarding Genji, isn’t it?”

“How’d ya know-” the words tumbled out his mouth, and he covered his mouth, ashamed at how easily she got information from him - was she purposefully prying on his weakness? “I mean…. Why’d ya ever assume such a thing! Nothin’s happened, me and him are doing jus’ fine!”

“You’re a terrible liar… Me, Ana and Commander Reyes have told you this time and time again, we can see through your lies easily! What did he do?” At that, he scowled; Genji had simply been provoked. 

If it weren’t for Mccree’s foolish optimism, expecting everything to be like a children’s book where everyone holds hands and becomes friends, Genji wouldn’t have exploded. It was clear to Jesse that he couldn’t befriend him, but he continued to push him. Unknowingly gritting his teeth, memories flooded his brain, of how he responded when people provoked him - he knew how Genji would react from personal experience, so why did he do it? It was Jesse’s fault, Genji exploded because of _him_ . There was no reason why _he_ should sit and sulk over the argument.

“Genji did nothin’, it was my fault. I kept pushin’ him to talk to me, of course he’s gonna blow up at me!”

“Have you ever heard the phrase 'curiosity killed the cat’, Jesse?” Angela sat down, prompting Jesse to do the same. 

“...no.” She always used weird phrases and metaphors he had never heard of, and half the time he didn’t even understand them! But, he certainly understood this one, and he expected to be told off. That he was the cat in this phrase.

“I expected as much… well, the full phrase is ‘curiosity killed the cat, but satisfaction brought it back’! Being curious isn’t a bad thing, and wanting to know about Genji isn’t something bad either! You may feel defeated now, that you may have angered him… but give him time. He’s severely traumatized, Mccree. He’ll open up in his own time, and I’m sure in his heart he wishes to befriend you too!” At that, she smiled. Her smile was always so bright, it brought hope to anyone and everyone - that’s what angels do! Jesse felt himself smile too, which turned to laughter. 

“So I didn’t completely fuck up, ain’t that what you’re sayin’?”

“That’s exactly what I’m saying, Jesse!”

“Doctor Zielger, are you there?” Cutting through the softened atmosphere was Reyes’ voice, with an unnaturally terrified tone. 

Reyes never showed fear. He was the strongest man Jesse knew, he was the one to act impulsively for he didn’t fear the repercussions.

“Yes, yes I am! Why, what’s happened?”

The answer was thrown into her arms.

“Oh mein Gott... Was mache ich? Was mache ich?!” Jesse couldn’t see what she was holding, but he had his guesses. 

And every guess was as terrible as the last.

His throat tightened, his fists clenched. He didn’t want to see, but he’d just witnessed two of the strongest people he knew panickedly scream. He had to be brave, he had to face up to his actions. But he couldn’t be brave when it mattered most, could he? He could spit in the face of the Overwatch leaders yet he couldn’t walk into a hospital room. It mirrored many other times in his life, mirroring his insecurities and incapabilities. His bravery always wavered when he needed it, when others were at stake. He was truly selfish, in that case, wasn’t he? Wasn’t he?

His head was full of fog, his vision blurred. He didn’t realise just how much he was shaking and how much his chest ached. 

But he had to be brave. Because this was only the beginning of what he had to face. And he’d seen people bandaged up and bleeding before, why was this any different to him?

He didn’t need an answer to that question, for he knew it deep down - it was his fault, and he couldn’t face what he caused.

So, swallowing his fears, despite how his throat made him want to throw them up again, Jesse walked into the room Angela had just rushed to. He was going to challenge his nerves, for he was a strong and brave cowboy. Not one who ran from problems he caused… at least, that’s what he hoped he could be.

Genji awoke to a loud, whirring noise from his arm. He could never grow used to the mechanical noises his body made, and the headache he had only made him feel worse.

He couldn’t exactly remember what happened after he’d ruined his arm, but memories flickered.

 _“Jesse, Genji, are you alri- oh, oh dios mio -”  
_ “Does anyone know where the doctor is? Where is she?! Call her! It’s urgent!”  
 _“I can’t fucking do this, what the fuck even happened?!”  
"CAN SOMEBODY PLEASE HELP?”_

There was only one thing he remembered vividly: the crying and exasperated faces of his Commander and his close friend.

He wanted to wipe those panicked faces away. He didn’t want to see them, especially not when he caused them.

“Oh, you’re awake! Well, howdy, I’m probably the last person you wanna see now, but hey…” Genji jumped at the sudden loud voice. He hadn’t noticed Jesse, who had perched himself next to Genji’s bed on a stool. Of course. Because Mccree didn’t know what keeping his distance meant, if anything it made him grow closer to Genji. How irritating.

“Where is Angela?”

“Asleep. I promised her I’d watch over ya!” He grinned, and adjusted the scarf he’d draped over the two. Genji hadn’t noticed that, either. He’d never seen Mccree with it, and it was certainly noticeable - red with a yellow pattern. It looked worn and, as Genji slowly touched it with his human hand, he could imagine the home it belonged to. Of course Mccree had a nice home and a nice upbringing. It’s another reason why Genji initially tried not to associate with him - he never dealt with the hardships that Genji took in his stride from childhood, so how dare he assume he can relate to him! “Well, and I wanted to apologise…”

“Go on. Apologise.”

“Geez, Genj, let me get the words out first! Goddamn… I jus’ wanted to say, I’m sorry. I thought that ‘cos you and I, ‘cos we’re roommates and everything, I jus’ thought I could become your friend quickly, and I didn’t realise how hard you had it all. An’ for that, I’m sorry.” His face expressed genuine remorse. Genji tried to hold onto his anger, but it had long dissipated; he tried to find reasons to hate Mccree, but there were none. So far.

“It’s fine. But I am not your friend, and I won’t be your friend. Ever. Understand?” Keep distance, keep distance… Genji repeated it to himself in his mind, like a mantra, in hopes he’d follow through and not listen to his heart. Making friends in this place is naive and foolish. But both words can also describe Mccree, as he’d learnt on the first day. With others, such traits were detestable. But with Mccree? Genji couldn’t deny that they were strangely endearing.

“Understood!” The sunshine reflected in Mccree’s small smile.

Genji hadn’t felt this warmth from the sun in so long. He wanted to see the sun shine again, and he now had his own sun… though he’d never admit it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> things r getting better for the boys...... thank GOD i can't write angst/arguments i can only write fluff AND THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT U GUYS R GETTING NOW <3  
> if you wanna yell about mcgenji to me (please do), my tumblr: @tousakamis


	3. Chapter 3

“Could you not sleep, either?” A piercing strike in the target, a bullseye like all others. The slice in the centre of every target was reflective of years of training, and the deep of the cut reflected months of grief. Yet his body language was strangely calm - assassins always remain calm on their missions, was this any different to Genji? Jesse’s eyes traced the movement of every shuriken, noting the precision and the throat-piercing danger within every throw. Eventually, his eyes trailed back to Genji, whose eyes had softened since they’d last spoken - when he threw himself back into a medical room, a few days prior. They were still glowing, bright and hypnotic, but they had gained humanity, and didn’t seem as deadly. 

“...nah. Wanted t’see what you were up to, ‘nd I expected to find you here!” He certainly wasn’t here to train, sporting a hoodie 3 sizes too big and his eyelids drooping down his face. But Genji… Jesse couldn’t remember a time when he’d seen him rest. Always on edge, always practicing, eyes wide open as he lay in bed - anticipating another attack at all times. His brother was miles away, the clan presumed he was dead… but paranoia creeps at your throat, slowly slipping around you and numbing all senses, until you succumb to its control and die. Jesse knew how it felt. He wished he didn’t.

“Would you care to spar with me, then?” His voice was smooth, lacking any rigidity, despite the mechanical undertone, occasionally resurfacing when he pronounced certain words. It was pleasing, soothing, a voice that could lull you to sleep, softly, gently… after a blade has thrust into your chest.

“Me? Lookin’ like  _ this _ ? Sweetheart, I don’t mean to be rude, but-”

“Scared, Mccree? I’ll just tell the Commander that you chickened out-” Before Jesse could think about his actions, he was clinging to Genji’s arm and scowling. Genji retaliated with a stuck-out tongue.

“You wouldn’t dare. Besides,” he lost his grip on Genji’s arm and ran the hand he’d freed through his hair, thinking about how long it was back in Deadlock, longing for it to return, “I thought you hated everyone… how come you’re speakin’ so… friendly with me?” Genji’s tone when they first met flashed through his brain, the venom and pain still so vivid. He hoped to never hear that again.

“And I thought you were too tired to do any big movements?” Genji ran a finger over where Jesse’s hand had clung. Usually, if someone were to break his personal space, they’d be swat away, a blade against their throat as a warning. Why didn’t respond that way to Jesse’s touch? He hates being touched, he hates his past resurfacing and how he always had hands on his body, but now… all he could do was run a finger over his arm and sigh.

He wasn’t here to make friends.

He certainly wasn’t here to catch feelings.

“I never said I didn’t hate you. I just need a sparring partner.” His voice had frozen again, freezing air shattering the previously carefree atmosphere.

“So…” Jesse attempted to mask the dismay in his voice towards Genji’s words, but his eyes were that of a brokenhearted puppy’s, “you expect me to keep up with you, zip-zooming everywhere, while I have the slowest legs known t’man? Nah, no way!” He shook his head quickly, holding it after he’d shaken it.

“The Commander is just a door away, Mccree. And I won’t use weapons.” His legs shifted, one behind the other with a firm grip on the floor below him, and raised his fists. Just like his father drilled into him. “We can use fists. You are larger and more muscular than me, surely it’d be a breeze? Or are you scared of me?” 

“Now, now…” Clicking the fingers on both of his hands, a sound that sickened Genji to his core, Jesse stepped forward until Genji’s hands were barely touching his chest. “How could I ever be scared of you?” A smile crept across his face. How patronizing, how annoying, how reminiscent of those in his past…

But people are easiest to overthrow when their ego overtakes them. 

Swooping down, Genji hooked his arms around Jesse’s legs, as if he were a bird hooking onto his prey, throwing the others balance off before he could process what was happening. To prevent Jesse from fighting back, once he had been knocked from his feet to the floor, Genji grasped his wrists and pinned them to the ground, and placed a leg on top of his chest. Sweat plastered his hair to his forehead, and breaths were sharp against the inside of his throat - he hadn’t expected himself to make such a drastic move, but it wasn’t one he regret.

Jesse’s expression made it entirely worth it.

Below him, much to Genji’s delight, was an exasperated Jesse, cheeks ablaze and eyes undecided on where to look. His mouth was ajar, as if he had prepared to argue, but it was clear to anyone Genji had left him breathless.

Which was gross. Kind of endearing, but mostly gross.

“S-So…”

“I am not scared of you, Jesse Mccree.” His eyes sparkled, but his voice prickled. “But it seems you feel something for me, other than fear.”

“Oh, ain’t you bold all of a sudden? Well, how would you react if someone suddenly pinne- Ok, ya know what, I’m not even finishing that one.” Genji offered a hand to Jesse as he pulled himself off of him, pulling the other up. He still coudln’t meet his eyes, but he begrudgingly took his hand regardless.

“If someone what, Mccree?” Edging his face closer to the other, remnants of his past flashed before his eyes. He shouldn’t be acting like this, he shouldn’t be saying this and he certainly shouldn’t have started this. Such behaviour is unsightly and it attracts more harm than the small good it could ever bring. Besides, his opinion on Jesse was still quite the mess, so why he was behaving in such a way towards a man he felt no attraction to was unknown to him.

“Genji, I… D’ya have to get so close to me?! Seriously, I coulda sworn you’re doing this on purpose now!” Covering his mouth with his hand, Jesse’s cheeks still burnt. He internally screamed at himself for letting himself get this carried away and this flustered over someone who probably didn’t care about him. But humouring the thought of Genji liking him and wanting to be his friend was also a good course of action.

“That may be correct. Is it making you uncomfortable? I’ll stop, if you want me to.” He moved back to where he was before, eyes losing the sparkle that had shone since Jesse first walked in.

“...nah, it’s a’ight. Are you okay with it though? Don’t wanna force you into anything you’re uncomfortable with.”

“...Mccree,  _ I  _ pinned  _ you  _ down.”

“Still! I’m tryna be nice to you, tryna make sure you’re okay!” His voice squeaked, as the two finally made eye contact. Jesse had always thought Genji was breathtaking, from the first time he saw him, but tonight had just amplified that. His eyes were soft, contrasting the usual daggers they threw. It was a lovely change, a change he wished to see all the time. Silently, Jesse wished Genji had smiled under his faceplate at least once tonight. He knew he had a beautiful smile, befitting of a beautiful man.

“ Anata wa totemo yasashi desune...”

“Huh?”

“Nothing. Let’s go to bed, before we are caught and punished.”

“A’ight! I’m tired, I dunno ‘bout you!” The two stood up and left the training range, in hopes of leaving the arising feelings there too.

Genji was meant to hate Mccree. He was everything he found annoying in a person, he was everything he wasn’t. Yet, part of him longed to grow closer.

And that part always seemed to win him over, unfortunately.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> my rational brain: okay so this is going to be slowburn with angst  
> my gay brain: what if they fell in lvoe immediately and were idiots because of their feelings that sounds fun  
> guess which part of my brain won!!!! im sorry for the um.... suggestive stuff..... sometimes u just gotta pin ur homie to the floor as u try to repress ur gay little feelings 


	4. Chapter 4

Morning hit, yet all rooms had been empty since dawn. ‘A new arrival’, the halls whispered. ‘Another scientist’, muttered the labs. Anything about this meant nothing to Genji, for anyone that wasn’t Doctor Zielger was unneeded in his recovery. Despite his refusals and protests, however, he had been dragged into attending. It was ‘polite’, it was ‘respectful’... Genji had never shown respect to his superiors, and it caused his downfall. These words, like puppet strings, controlled him when he was unable to do so himself. Everyone else had access to the strings, and due to this he found himself standing surrounded by blank faces he couldn’t match names to; when he first arrived a month ago, he wished that would be the case for everyone. Jesse had perched himself beside him, mumbling questions of who, what, where, why and when… Genji’s head still ached from the night before, how was Jesse so hyper and unfazed? His clinging to Genji summoned looks from the unknown faces, quickly combated with bleeding eyes staring right back.

“Hello, everyone. Thank you for coming on such short…” Reyes yawned after a few words, for waking up early affected him the most, “...such short notice.” To that, Jesse scowled. Reyes had promised him he’d sleep properly, but clearly those words lacked weight to them. “We have a new member of the scientific and medical department. She’s working alongside Doctor Zielger, so if ever the doctor isn’t available, she will be. Thanks, I’m off.” Yawning again, he shuffled towards the door, dodging the wave of muttering and questioning that arose once he spoke. It suffocated Genji; a jumble of voices and noises that gradually grew louder and louder and surrounded you, caging you in with no escape in sight, causing panic to skyrocket in his chest. Unconsciously, he clung to Jesse’s sleeve, causing Jesse to grin at the sudden affection.

“Hello, all.” At the sound of her voice, all others ceased. “I am Moira O'Deorain. It is a  _ pleasure _ to be here.” She emphasized pleasure, presumably for the wrong reasons, as her lips curled into a snarl and her eyes lowered. Her voice didn’t seem to fit her, but after a judge of her intonation it fit perfectly - low, flowing like honey, putting on an act of sweetness to mask the sickness she truly displayed. She scanned the room, her nails clacking as she steepled her hands near her face. Her eyes, dark and mysterious, began to glow dangerously once they met Jesse’s.

He didn’t like her.

He  _ really  _ didn’t like her.

She didn’t look trustworthy, she posed like a villain, she’s  _ ginger _ , he didn’t recognise her accent - Welsh maybe? It had to be somewhere near England - and she just generally gave off bad vibes.

“Am I the only one thinkin’ she gives off bad vibes?” Jesse mumbled to Genji, leaning into him to whisper into his ear. By this point, nearly everyone had dispersed, returning to where they’d rather be.

“She’s really scary.” Genji whispered back. The two giggled like schoolchildren, as Genji’s grip on Jesse’s arm softened. They were essentially holding each other, yet Genji was the opposite of bothered - last night definitely changed something seemingly unchangeable.

“What’s funny, boys?” Moira snapped, causing the two to freeze with widened eyes. “Jesse Mccree, Genji Shimada… Gabriel has told me plenty about you two.” In response to his name, Jesse detached himself from Genji with clenched fists.

“You can’t call him that. I ain’t even allowed to call him that.”

“Well, maybe you two are not as close as you’d like to believe, Jesse. And Genji?” At the shrill sound of his name, he scowled. Pain scarred Jesse's face, and though the pair's relationship was still a confusing blur, he knew seeing Jesse in pain caused him pain.

“Yes…?”

“Come to me whenever you’re suffering, don’t bother Angela as much as you usually do. I’m here to help, and I know it’ll be an absolute pleasure working with you boys.” She sauntered off, leaving Genji’s arms itching and Jesse clinging to the brim of his hat in hopes it’d hide his face. After a prolonged silence, a silence that felt like years, and years, and years, they both turned to face each other, as their eyes softened at the sight of the other.

“Hey, Genj. Don’t listen to her. Angie- Angela cares about ya, a whole lot. You don’t bother her.” Jesse smiled with his mouth but not his eyes. 

“You should take your own advice, Mccree.” His eyes widened as Genji spoke, his tone laced with care and love. Clearly, his talk of ‘we’re not friends and we never will be’ was lies. “I have only been here for a month, I do not know you and Commander Reyes very well… but he cares deeply for you, I can see it in his eyes. Don’t forget that, Mccree.” Under his mask, Genji smiled at the man staring back at him.

That was something he hadn’t done in ages.

“You can see it in the man's eyes? Why, what does that even mean…” 

“Maybe if you knew, you’d pick up on a lot more.” Genji laughed, hoping Jesse couldn't pick up on what he was implying.

“Hey! Are you calling me a fool?! I’ll have ya know I’m mighty smart, I’m one of the best secret agents ever!” The two stepped closer, Genji being the one provoking Jesse this time.

“They say ‘brains and brawn’ a lot, in American movies… and you seem to be the brawn.”

“You’re dodging ma questi-”

“I just said you lacked brains, Mccree. You have just proved the point I made.” Jesse punched Genji’s arm, but despite his puffed out cheeks full of red hues, it was soft and playful. 

“Well… you’re not as smart as you like to think ya are, I bet…” Jesse scratched his head as he walked towards the door. “Look, all I’m sayin’ is… the more you spend time with me, the more I’ll rub off on ya. Don’t get too high ‘n’ mighty now, Genj!” With what Genji presumed to be a threat, Jesse left him alone in the room that had been crowded only ten minutes ago. Following the crowd, he left as well, turning down the opposite hallway to Jesse.

“Hello, Angela.” Genji examined the room he had been in so many times this past month, the smell of disinfectant overpowering all over senses. Despite the bubbling tears in his eyes, he didn’t dislike the smell - it was befitting of a medical area, so why should it change? 

“Oh, hello Genji! What brings you here?” Soft and melodious to his ears, her voice made all previous anxieties flow out of his system, being replaced with the fluttering sensation of joy.

“Nothing in particular.” He approached her desk, examining all the scattered paperwork and tower of coffee cups, all leaving a similar circular stain. She was wearing her glasses today, her eyes glimmering in the light despite the protective layer. “Am I not allowed to visit a friend?”

“It’s Jesse, isn’t it?” At the mention of him, Genji spluttered. His cool and content look diminished, instead becoming a flustered and shocked mess. “You don’t have to tell me what happened. I’m assuming you came here for a bit of an escape. So, how are you feeling?”

“I am… feeling better. Everyone is kind, or at least avoids me, and the training facilities are good. I may…” His voice trailed off as flashbacks bombarded his thought process, completely throwing him off guard. He may have adjusted his life as of what happened, but it didn’t stop him from being haunted. He feared it would haunt him for the rest of his life, and he’d never truly recover from what happened to him, and he’d never come to terms with what he became. “Ahem. This place is a good distraction.” He cleared his throat, despite his mind begging for him to choke.

“That’s wonderful! I was really worried for you… but it seems my roommate idea worked!” Clapping her hands together, she spun in a circle and giggled.

“I see why they call you an angel.” He perched himself on her desk, avoiding the caffeinated stains as he quickly watched her shift from excited to the same shade as a rose. 

“Huh…?” She placed her hands to her cheeks and looked away, catching his eyes crinkling as she did so. “You flatter me, honestly Genji…” Tucking a stray hair behind her ear and readjusting her glasses with her other hand, she sighed as she felt herself cool down. Genji had been so cold before, it was a major change for him to be passing out such bold compliments like it was nothing. 

But, in the same thought, Angela remembered how Jesse does exactly that. Their influence on one another was as clear as day.

“It’s true! What would I get from lying?”

“I don’t know, why don’t you tell me?”

“It’s true! It’s not flattery, it’s the truth!” The two threw rebuttals back and forth, neither side wanting to back down.

On the other side of the building, Reyes found himself pacing up and down and up and down. His hands were tucked behind his back as his brow furrowed, head still pounding from his sleep deprivation.

New intel.

A formidable undercover team, including a medic that belonged to Blackwatch rather than Overwatch.

The only issue was the consent of one of the agents.

Because he certainly wouldn’t be pleased, knowing where he had to return.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> obligatory "i forgot moira was in blackwatch so here's her introduction" chapter!!! also things will finally start having a plot instead of mayhem around the base.... ohoho............ >:)  
> FUN FACT NO ONE ASKED FOR!!! i wrote 1k worth of this chapter in a single hour (to be more specific, a biology lesson). i was copying it up and i checked the word count and i was like.... what. what. what thefcjkkfkdkd *explodes*  
> REMINDER I AM ON TUMBLR AS @tousakamis !!! thank you all so much for your comments + kudos, it really does make me so happy knowing ppl are enjoying my writing :')


	5. Chapter 5

“Good morning, everyone. Thank you for coming on such short notice - I’m glad the message reached you all.” At the front of the room stood Reyes, arm crossed as he compelled the air to thicken. The ever present tension worsened with every word, yet Jesse found himself focused on another issue - Moira. Why was  _ she  _ here?! He understood himself and Genji, being the expertise in their fields: Genji in stealth and swordsmanship, Jesse in wielding his peacekeeper. Yet Moira?! Jesse only saw her scaring people or fixing her insanely long nails, and his growing doubts about her ‘medical expertise’ arose as he glared at her. She probably conducted evil experiments on Blackwatch members, rearranging their cellular structure or something equally terrifying. Either way, distrust brewed, and it only worsened as Jesse acknowledged Genji’s expression; it was as if you’d raised your hand towards a frightened puppy. Small, contracted pupils with the violet undershadow beneath them now a dark purple. However, analysis was cut short, for when their eyes met they quickly separated again.

He didn’t want to talk about it, and Jesse respected that.

He knew what happened when you attempted to pry important from Genji - he learnt the hard way.

“Regarding our tracking of Talon and their plots, we recently gathered more intel as to their plans and whereabouts.” To this, Moira chuckled. Noticeable, out of place… yet she so easily faded into the background, waiting for your nerves to die down only to stab you with intensified fears.

“So I presume we are to act on this information and go undercover?” Just the sound of her voice was enough to make Jesse’s senses stand on edge. He hadn’t felt this way about someone’s voice since his Deadlock years, despite his desperate scratching of the memory in hopes it’d be repressed forever. He didn't want to remember that… no, he  _ wasn’t  _ going to remember that.

Unwittingly, Genji glanced over at Jesse, whose posture had morphed from strong and tall to withdrawn and weak within a few words. 

Oh, how he longed to reach out, grabbing Jesse’s shaking hands and grasping them in his own, maybe even removing his mask and gently kissing the backs of his hands, looking into his soft eyes as he finally let his guard down…

His body turned away from Jesse’s, only a minute after he turned towards him, grasping his fluttering chest with a hand. He was  _ not  _ going to humour one of these thoughts. They had increased in amount and in intensity, plaguing him constantly instead of being on cue - all Jesse had to do was laugh or yawn, and a bombardment of concepts of first kisses and dates fell upon his mind.  _ How embarrassing,  _ he thought,  _ falling for a man I’ve known for such a short time _ . He hoped that it was just a small crush after being shown basic compassion, for Genji wouldn’t know how to explain his circuits malfunctioning after Jesse grinned at him to Angela.

His father's words echoed in his mind -  _ such affection could cause your demise _ .

“Yes, that’s exactly it. We will need to cover a large area, hence why I gathered a collection of agents instead of a few.” Reyes leaned into the wall behind him as he spoke, due to relaxation instead of fatigue. As per Jesse’s constant nagging, he had tried to sleep the whole night - or at least 8 hours. It had paid off, if you ignored the pile-up of work he awoke to; however, Jesse always told him that self-care was more important than work, which Reyes was trying to believe. Such nagging didn’t bother Reyes, rather the opposite - he smiled at the thought of Jesse looking out for him, which he hoped was mutual. 

“So, sir, where’ve we gotta go?” Jesse piped up, just as expected. Eyes drifting towards Genji, Reyes mentally prepared to break the news as he took a deep breath.

“I don’t know how to put this lightly. We found links with the Shimada clan, based in Hanamura, so we will most likely have to go there.” 

Ringing. 

Constant ringing. 

Genji thought he’d gotten rid of the ringing. 

But the reminder of his previous links, his old habits, his father, his brother, his aunt, his mother, everything he grew with, the ringing only grew. His gut skyrocketed from his chest to his throat, which felt fit to burst. His legs screamed RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, RUN, NEVER LOOK BACK, GET OUT OF HERE WHILE YOU CAN. He couldn’t breathe, he really couldn’t breathe. It was just like then, and right now he wished he’d never been found half-dead. Everything was red and everything was blurry and everyone’s screamed were blocked out by the ringing the constant ringing that haunted his every waking moment and-

Feeling his legs collapse beneath him, his eyes regained focus and lost the red hue they’d just haunted him with. He scanned the room, acknowledging where he’d run to in his hysterics - he began in the meeting room, he finished in his room. Attempting to ground himself, for his irregular breathing and shaking limbs were a cause of concern, he tried to name things he could see, smell, hear, taste and touch. It didn’t take him long to acknowledge his surroundings - Jesse’s stuff.

In his hysterics, he ran to Jesse’s side of the room… the realisation caused tears to flow into a waterfall capable of drowning him.

How foolish. How embarrassing.

Yet, his scorn didn’t rid him of his feelings.

“Reyes, what on earth d’ya mean ‘The Shimada clan’?! You  _ know  _ that’s a touchy subject for Genji!” In his outburst, Jesse flung his hands around in the air. Such a strong reaction, being a rarity, struck everyone with the room with shock. Sure, Jesse had a temper. Sure, he’d get annoyed with Reyes from time to time. But such a strong reaction for someone many didn’t think he’d associate with? The whispers instantly began. In the background, for she had once again blended in with the shadows, Moira analyzed the reaction intently.

“I know, and I was worried about his reaction the second I received the news!” Reyes protested, massaging his temples in frustration, “I do care about my Blackwatch agents, nino. I know it’s shocking. But I want Genji to feel comfortable, which is why the mission will be optionable for him.”

“Why’d ya even suggest it to him…?” Though his head still pounded and the fizzing in his ears and chest had yet to leave, Jesse’s breathing slowed down, seeing reason instead of rage.

“You know why. You  _ know  _ you and Genji are two of my greatest agents.” Removing his professional mask in place of a gentle smile, his eyes met Jesse’s, “I can see the pride in your eyes, mijo. I’m glad you realise how great you are.” To that, a gasp fell from Jesse’s lip before he could catch it with his rising hand. “But I’m pretty sure my flattery should be the least of your concerns right now. You’re the one he needs.”

Outside his room’s door stood a wary Jesse, having found out where Genji had run to from the hallway’s whispers. The halls always communicated with him, since he first arrived, but they’d been silent for a while, as he had other noise to drown it out with. He couldn’t help but wonder if Genji could hear the hallway’s words too.

Memories of what happened last time Genji was alone when so hysterical played like a broken record in Jesse’s mind, making him wonder if similar had happened this time. He really hoped not, and he tried to maintain a positive outlook. Tried to trust Genji. He did trust Genji, but he also knew how harrowing such temptations can be. The weight of his legs kept him glued to the floor, as they had done for the past 10-15 minutes. Challenging this, he dragged them across the floor and opened the door. A door hiding both wonders and terrors, he had learnt after his time at Blackwatch.

Jesse may not be a genius, but he knows for certain which category Genji fits into.

“Hey, you in here…?”

“Mccree…?” Soft, wary, concerned… both voices bore those qualities. And both faces light up at the sight of the other. Genji couldn’t help but imagine how blotchy his eyes had become, considering the tears he’d wept seconds prior.

“Oh, thank the lord! May I join ya…?” Jesse awkwardly stood in the doorway, not wanting to breach the boundaries that had so clearly been put up.

“Of course. Come on, Mccree.” Genji pat the ground beside him, which Jesse quickly filled. Genji had never been one to seek comfort in another; if upset or angry, he’d play games or comfort eat. It depended on the time of day and how therapeutic button mashing would be. Yet, with Jesse sitting beside him, he felt warmth flow through his body.

Maybe the sun wasn’t that bad.

“I’m not even gonna lie to ya, I was really scared about comin’ in…”

“Why? Have you never seen a man cry? Are you one of those people?” Genji chuckled, the hoarse laughter rattling in his chest.

“No, no that is NOT what I meant! But, anyways, I’m glad t’see you’re not feeling that bad.”

“You get used to being your own therapist when your family doesn’t care.” The dimming of Jesse’s eyes spoke of solidarity, but also deep concern. “I’m still shaken, but… I’m willing to go.”

“Really? Reyes’ said it’d be optional for ya, cos he doesn’t want ya to get any bad trauma resurfacing… or anythin’ like that.” Jesse shuffled closer, baffled at Genji’s calm demeanor.

“I want revenge.” Genji’s eyes glowed the bloodthirsty red that he bore when they first met, widening them as he turned towards Jesse. “Oh, and I miss the ramen there. They did it the best.” His eyelids lowered again as Jesse’s mood shifted from bewildered to joking.

“Why, you’ll have to take me there if it’s all that good!” He softly nudged Genji, causing the other to have a flurry of thoughts he’d only just repressed to resurface.

“Of course, Mccree. You’ll have to hold me to that offer.” Genji nudged Jesse back, watching the other light up with a pink hue on his cheeks. 

“Why, I got the best memory! I’ll remember! And ya gotta show me around Hanamura sometime - it’s a date, y’hear?” Silently acknowledging Genji’s reaction - his face flaring such a red that smoke came from his mask - Jesse scratched his cheek and smiled to himself, only one thought on his mind. 

Genji truly is the prettiest man Jesse has laid eyes on.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi it's 1am i accidentally spent 2 hours writing this all in a sitting LOL. this was initially meant to be angsty but i just.... cant do it.... i slipped into the softness almost instantly. but will you guys complain?? probably not! im rlly proud of this chapter tbh.... and im super excited to write the next!  
> shameless tumblr plug hey: @tousakamis


	6. Chapter 6

“Boys, do you remember your location? And roles?” Reyes stared at Genji and Jesse, who both slowly blinked and rubbed their eyes as they absorbed the question.

“Oh, yeah. We gotta… infiltrate a party, right? We gotta try and overhear anything we can in this party… meetin’... whatever!” Flinging his arms around, as per his usual manner when speaking, Jesse yawned. 10:21pm - they’d been awake since 2am. Set to arrive in 9 minutes, final checking and planning took place, unbefitting Reyes and his usual charge-in-and-act-on-his-gut attitude. Clearly, Ana and Morrison had their say in this undercover mission too.

“Mijo, please take this seriously. If we screw up, you’ll be the one explaining it to me, Ana... and Morrison, I suppose.” Reyes and Morrison, considering their recent quarrels, hated to be in the same room, and Reyes spat his name with malice. To be around them was to step on eggshells, for the slightest misstep or misspoken word created an eruption. And, for sake of Reyes’ sanity, Jesse purposefully avoided Morrison. He felt, if he were to spend time with Morrison, he’d be betraying his ‘dad’, bringing him an unimaginable dread. Such deadly dread, so intense it consumed his stomach any time he was in the base.

He didn’t want to see Reyes cry again. Seeing such a thing would break him.

Jesse took a deep breath before speaking, to prepare his lungs. “I am takin’ this seriously! Tha’s why I asked Genj to keep track of everything!” Speaking loudly to overtake the volume of his paranoia, all heads in the ship turned at his loud outburst. And then, at Genji, who turned away once he realised the eyes had shifted to him. The feeling of eyes burning your skin is one he wished to avoid, or at least blot out.

“So, Genji? What do you have to do? Sorry, _someone_ dropped you into this.” Despite speaking through his teeth at ‘someone’, Reyes flashed Jesse a cheeky grin as the two shared a soft look, though only for a moment.

“We have to infiltrate a party between m- the clan and potential Talon representatives, claiming we too are part of the clan. Our main job is to eavesdrop, which you will pick up on our microphones attached to our jackets. If anyone begins to suspect us, we escape without drawing attention to ourselves.” His words robotic, his eyes human… although his mouth spoke of his mission he’d been assigned to, his eyes spoke of bloodlust and hunger. “We cannot make any advances on Talon... or the clan.” His added words nothing more than a whisper, it seemed to be a reminder to himself. He wasn’t allowed to get revenge, he wasn’t allowed to attack those who left him for dead. No matter how much his body screamed for it.

_I will only feel comfortable in this body when I have ruined theirs._ Genji told Angela such a thing when tied to his hospital bed, bleeding into his circuits with a glitching thought process. _They must die. They have to feel how I felt. If they don’t feel the agony I felt, how will I ever feel comfortable like this?_

_I’m not human anymore._

Staring at his hands, one a peachy colour and the other a grey colour, he questioned his humanity, heart increasing in speed. He wasn’t human, yet his heart behaved like it had done all throughout his teenage years - quick to cause a racket, quick to seek out temporary thrill. It was loud, and it was annoying… words fitting the one it raced for.

“Exactly. Did any of that go through your head, Jesse?” Snapping back to reality, Genji looked over to Jesse, awaiting his response more eagerly than he intended to.

“Of course! But, hey, if I’m with Genj, I’ll be okay!” Softly punching the other's arm, Jesse chuckled as the driver announced the landing. Reyes looked down at his feet, sighing.

“I don’t even know why I worry... Good luck, you two. Don’t fuck it up.”

Hanamura was quieter than Genji remembered. Streets barren, cold air flowing through his hair as he inhaled in hopes of intaking memories. 

He had planned to never return to this place, and if he were to do so he’d stain the streets with the blood of those who wronged him, a warm scarlet painting the grey. A grey, reminiscent of melancholy nights alone, hoping to find someone to entertain him. The lights shone brighter back then, neon illuminating the ground and making the stars shine brighter. Those lights inspired him to dye his hair the many colours he did so, flicking through all shades of the rainbow. Green had always been his favourite, however - how unfortunate that his green glow had been tainted with a red stain. Now, all these streets had on offer was nostalgia and bitter longing for the past, neither of which Genji wished for. He and Jesse had a party to attend, after all.

“So… are these streets where ya grew up?” Jesse mumbled, half expecting a blank response. It was as if he poked the subject with a stick, wary of the reaction he could receive for asking such questions.

“...yes. It was much more lively when I was a teen, though. Now it just seems sad.” Genji responded softly, brain still aflutter with colourful memories. Such memories that can never repeat.

“Ah, I get that… But, hey, no need to get too upset over the past! Now you’ve got a brighter future to look forward to!” Despite the energy behind his words, his voice wavered with uncertainty. “At least, I hope ya do… I want ya to be happy!” A sudden outburst, yet not an unexpected one. Genji’s eyes softened at Jesse’s sincerity, hoping his wishes would become a reality.

“Thank you, Jesse. I hope you have a bright future, too. When we are free of Blackwatch, that is.”

“Ah, right. We gotta do Blackwatch business now…” Tucking a stray strand of hair behind his ear, Jesse’s pace increased, prompting Genji to do the same. Genji had always been ahead, but now even more so. “Hey, wait up!”

“Why should I? We’re already running late, and we can’t be qualified as ‘fashionably late’ until we’re dressed up.” Jesse chuckled at Genji’s words, strides becoming a brisk jog.

“Well, I dunno about you, but I’m always dressed’ta impress!” 

“...sure.”

“Hey! What’s that doubt for?!” His voice became a whisper as he stared at the building at the end of the road. 

Bright lights, cars as far as the eye could see, many suits and sleek black dresses to match… this was the place, and it certainly wasn’t subtle.

“Well, I see where the brightness went… shall we go get ourselves changed?” Genji interlocked his arm with Jesse’s, who had unintentionally placed them on his hips as he absorbed the size of this place. Gathering information wasn’t going to be easy.

“Y- Wait, where are we going?!” Daze morphing into panic, he let Genji drag him into a desolate building filled with chairs stacked on tables, the lights barely flickering as the battery reached its end. Out of all things he expected of Genji, this was not an experience he had planned.

“Relax! I used to hide in here a lot, getting changed from my party attire to serious outfits whenever my father was particularly annoyed.” Genji giggled at the memory, like a child doing something they weren’t meant to. “He never actually punished me though. I could come home drunk and half-naked and he wouldn’t bat an eye - it was expected of me.”

Jesse looked at Genji, who was focused on buttoning his shirt up. He couldn’t take his eyes off him, especially after such a mesmerising giggle had blessed his ears for the next week. He had dreamed of such a sound, yet it exceeded all expectations… he wanted to make Genji giggle like that again, he wanted to ensure that mischievous sparkle never dimmed from his eyes again. He began to unbutton his own shirt, wary of the situation. 

“Oh, don’t worry, I’m not bothered by you being shirtless. Just get dressed, we’re both boys.” Genji lied through his teeth. He was _very_ bothered by a shirtless Jesse, considering his bubbling feelings against his chest. Regardless, he slicked his hair back as he stood up and put his trousers on, only needing the jacket to finalize his suit look. He hadn’t worn a suit in years, and he feared the mechanics attached to him ruined the look, but he frantically shoved those thoughts away - he wasn’t here to make impressions, rather the opposite. Blend in and gather information. Though, how he with his additions and Jesse, being American, were to blend in was beyond him. He watched as Jesse got himself dressed, his messy hair completing the look perfectly. Genji smiled softly at the other man, reaching to tuck his hair behind his ear.

“Come on, Mccree. At least try to make yourself presentable.”

“Don’t think I don’t see ya smiling… well, I can’t see you smile, but tha’s beside the point…”

“You’re smiling too, Mccree.” Genji didn’t lie - an infectious grin had crept across Jesse’s face, a natural reaction to the affection of the other. The two interlocked eyes for a moment, both smiling softly at each other. Uncertainty arose as to who broke eye contact first.

“Well…” Jesse outstretched a hand to Genji, approaching the door. “Shall we go, pardner?” Genji took his hand eagerly.

The first detail of the room was its volume. And then, its capacity. Flooded with people and omnics, chattering away with anyone and everyone. Everything fuzzed together, becoming an unintelligible blur. Genji already missed the temporary bliss from outside. He recognised no one in the building either, meaning picking out clan members as potential targets would be hard. Differentiating the Shimada clan from Talon, being an impossible task, was one Genji chose to avoid. 

Just listen to anything you can.

Any information is better than none.

Before he strolled away, Jesse tugged at his hand, distress painting itself across his face.

“Genj… is everyone speaking Japanese? I don’t… I don’t understand anything.” Jesse mumbled, to ensure only Genji heard. In his blind urge to fish out his ex-clan and destroy them, he forgot only one of the pair knew Japanese. He took Jesse’s hand in his, stroking the back of it gently with his thumb.

“It’s okay, Mccree. I’ll translate anything, and speak on behalf of you. Watashi wo shinjite!” He mumbled back, attempting to reassure Jesse in any way possible. Considering his monotone voice, it most likely struck Jesse as more commanding than gentle, but he hoped Jesse understood his intentions.

“I’m trustin’ you…”

“And that is the right thing to do, Mccree. Let’s go.” 

Conversation around the room was swift and easy, at least to Genji. Jesse blindly followed, understanding nothing, instead being awestruck at how confidently Genji spoke to everyone. A few heads turned every time he spoke, but Jesse attempted to block those faces out. It was probably nothing… he convinced himself more than he sought out the truth, which sang of danger immediately. And you can only have your hands over your ears for so long.

“Well, that didn’t go as badly as I expected…” The two had retreated to a bathroom, as Genji grew tired of having to maintain polite conversation when he could have instead discovered groundbreaking information. Splashing his face with water, Jesse dragged at his face as he stared at the violet forming under his eyes. He punished Reyes for not sleeping, yet he wouldn’t be sleeping that night either - how hypocritical.

“I’m glad you can say that, that was a goddamn nightmare.”

“You should have asked me to teach you basic Japanese. Can’t you even say hello?”

“Kon… konnich… yeah, no, I don’t remember.”

“Konnichiwa, Mccree. You were close, though. Well done.” He patted Jesse’s head as if he were a cat, unaware of his action until it was too late. A pink crept across Jesse’s cheeks regardless, amazed at the sudden affection from Genji.

Almost on cue, a door flung open, followed with many faces Jesse recognised instantly - they were the faces that kept staring at Genji when he spoke. The intruders possessed guns and knives strapped to their trousers legs, contrasting the almost weaponless men staring back at them.

“You were not invited to this.” Were their only words before a gun locked onto their foreheads. “Only one of you is fit to attend, and we presumed you dead.”

“Genji Shimada. How unsightly you have become.” At the sound of his name, Genji grit his teeth and sunk his head down. Jesse’s shoulders naturally rose, prepared to fight for his life to protect the man standing beside him.

However, in all his rage, he still could never match the reaction that followed.

A green glow formed around Genji, his eyes now flaring with a green flame as his hand instinctively reached for his back. The sword he had hidden, a sword he had rendered useless after his loss of limbs, blazed with an unimpeachable heat. The confronters instinctively stepped back, eyes locked onto the blade staring into their chests. The guns lowered, eyes fearful and bodies frozen. Their final thoughts, as the blade empowered by years of Shimada heritage pierced through their chest? Regret and fear. Just as Genji had longed for the moment breath was returned to his lungs. Their blood stained the white panels of the floor, as Genji breathed heavily over their bodies. His dragon fluttered around his blade, raising his head slowly to meet the light.

“I am Genji Shimada, yes. But I am not the man you wanted.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well... that escalated quickly...... what was that about not getting revenge, genji?!? ANYWAYS i've been super excited to write this chapter for ages, which is probably evident by the fact its the longest chapter yet..... its the dragonblade reveal...... we find out how jesse responds next chapter, alongside how they escape this Sticky SituationTM!!!! FUN!!!  
> tumblr: @tousakamis


	7. Chapter 7

“My God…” Starstruck, mesmerised, captivated, hypnotized… no word came close to describing the fixation Jesse had on Genji, green glow shimmering around him as his eyes met the light above him. Breaths short, eyes unblinking… all Jesse could do was stare, opening his mouth to say words that would never escape. His cheeks had instinctively flushed pink, and he could have sworn he saw stars in his reflection’s eyes. Gradually raising his hands to his chest, he used all his strength to keep himself standing instead of on the floor, with the other dead bodies - you could consider him slain, but not by a blade. By beauty, by adoration and by shock. “You… what on earth…?” Genji gradually lowered his face, turning it to meet Jesse’s. Previously red eyes now flashed green, hair plastered over his forehead instead of upsticking as it usually would. The two made eye contact, both lost as to how to address the situation.

“Were you not aware?”

“...nah…” Part of Jesse wished to reply “that you were this gorgeous? I guessed it on day one!”, but his mouth was physically incapable of speaking those words, having little breath to do so.

“Ah. Then this is a shock to us both. I thought I’d lost my dragon, Soba. But she’s still here, and she’s still just as powerful.” His voice was far softer than his previous words, a fondness bubbling in his chest as he spoke of his dragon partner. Jesse longed to have that tone address him one day.

“It… certainly was shocking, I’ll give ya that one.”

“I can tell. You look ready to faint.” Gliding over to the other, he teasingly placed a hand to Jesse’s forehead. “If you do faint, I’ll catch you.” In response, Jesse covered his mouth with his hands, a failed attempt to mask the red coating of his face; if he wasn’t a flustered mess before, he certainly was now.

“I’m sure ya will, darlin’...” Stumbling back, his back hit a wall, to which he raised his head to analyze it. “Anyways, we got a... bigger issue than me faintin’.” He gestured to the bodies, which Genji had become blissfully unaware of, as he instead fixated on Jesse’s reaction.

“Ah. Right.”

“‘Ah right’?! Genj, don’t tell me you forgot you KILLED PEOPLE?”

“It’s whatever.”

“It is NOT whatev- damn it.” Jesse turned to face the wall he had rest himself on, realising a major dilemma. “There’s no windows in this bathroom, are ya kiddin’?!”

“Well… we’ve got a dilemma to solve. We have to hide bodies and walk through a busy party, while I’m covered in blood… And the Commander told us not to make a mess, huh...” He side-eyed Jesse, placing his sword on his back again as he did so.

“Don’t look at me like that! You’re the one who… swift swooped through those people with that damn sword! I didn’t even realise you had it!” Genji giggled at Jesse’s desperate attempt to create onomatopoeia for his sword, despite the situation calling for a serious reaction. “Well, these bodies are probably our main problem. ‘Cos if they find the bodies once we’re gone, they won’t think it was us. But if we leave and someone strolls in to this, Talon and your clan will be on our asses. And that won’t even be the worst of it.” He shuddered, considering the many reactions of his Commanders to this issue. He feared Reyes’ the most, as he’d been caught in his anger-induced riots many, many times.

“We could… hide them in the stalls?”

“People come in bathrooms to use the toilet stalls, usually…” Jesse grit his teeth as he spoke, lost in ideas of escape.

“Not if we lock them! They wouldn’t attempt to break into a stall that’s in use, right?” Genji looked up hopefully at Jesse, for if this idea didn’t work, there was no other option.

“Yeah, that might work! We gotta lock it from the outside though. Unless you fancy gettin’ locked in?”

“I plan on escaping, thank you very much. You can lock yourself in there and explain to the scary suit people why you’re in there with dead bodies, though.” Genji deadpanned, causing Jesse to choke on laughter.

“Man, didn’t ever think you had a sense’a humour! Now, lemme see if I still got my ol’ tricks…”

Begrudgingly lifting the scattered bodies into toilet stalls, closing the doors behind them as they all piled in, Genji shut the doors and gestured to Jesse to finish the job. Jesse kneeled down, facing the first lock as he fished a paperclip from his pocket. He always carried one on him, as they came in surprisingly good use during Deadlock. Now, it was just a comforting safety precaution - one of the only things he learnt from Deadlock that he wasn’t now disgusted by. Unwinding it, he tried to wedge it into the lock, to which it fit well. After a while of wiggling the clip around, while Genji stood behind him stifling laughter at his clear struggle, the lock clicked. The next two attempts were far easier than the first, and all the bodies were hidden, until an unfortunate cleaner strolled in.

“There we go! That was awfully easy!”

“You know how to pick and un-pick locks?” 

“Yeah! Learnt it from my Deadlock days!” After remembering what happened in Deadlock, his grin faded into a grimace. “Never thought I’d be usin’ those tricks again…”

“It’s okay, you saved us because of it. Now, before we leave…” Gesturing to the mirror behind him, Genji pointed to the stains on his jacket. “I can’t leave with this.”

“Take your jacket off, Genj.”

“Excuse me?”

“Jus’ take it off, okay! Geez, don’t react like that, I don’t mean anythin’ weird…” He could hear Genji chuckle as he took the jacket off, throwing it in the trash almost immediately. Now taking off his own jacket, Jesse readjusted his collar and draped the jacket around Genji’s shoulders. “There. Now you won’t freeze. It’s a bit big, but… it suits ya!” Winking at Genji, who had frozen in place with a rising red on his cheeks, Jesse turned to the door and opened it, glad to finally make his way towards the exit. “Let’s go. Can’t be here too long, can we now?”

Eyes.

The issue of staring had been there before, but now it was more present than ever.

_ Can they see any blood? Do they think something happened? Stop staring. Stop staring at us. Do they think we’re dating? Did they figure out this is Mccree’s jacket? Won’t they think it’s suspicious? Have they realised I’m a Shimada?  _

“Calm down. Your eyes look like they’re about’ta burst.” Placing his hands on Genji’s shoulders, causing the other to flinch, only to mellow into the contact from the other, Jesse whispered.

“I’m perfectly calm. Are you talking about yourself, Mccree?” Jesse scoffed and turned his face away, his hands only gripping tighter onto Genji’s shoulders. Genji didn’t mind, contrary to usual responses. Chatter was less now, as time had progressed - if the two were addressed, Genji simply said how they had to leave urgently as something came up, to which the questioner gave a look of intrigue at the dysfunctional duo in front of them. What could be so urgent to them? They seemed awfully comfortable at that moment.

Almost as if they’d reached heaven, the exit opened in front of them after what seemed like forever.

And they were free.

Almost.

“Boys, what did you do.” Echoed through Jesse’s microphone as the two took a sharp inhale of the night air, crisp and cold, compared to the humid and stuffy air of the building. Reyes. He didn’t sound happy.

“Why’re you accusin’ us of somethin’?”

“I don’t know, maybe because I heard very panicked mumbles a while back and then suddenly nothing from Genji’s mic.” A tired voice, scratchy due to the mic’s quality. Jesse leaned closer to Genji’s chest in order to hear it better. Genji hoped Jesse wouldn’t hear his heart racing, too.

“Nothin’ happened, o-”

“I killed some people that knew who I was.”

“Genj! I was tryna cover for ya!”

“You weren’t doing a good job.” Reyes chuckled at Genji’s response, then cleared his throat.

“I’m glad you were honest with me. Now… why in the ever-living FUCK would you kill people when I specifically said not to make  _ any  _ advances on the clan, simply to gather information?!” Reyes shouted through the mic, causing Jesse to move away slightly, much to Genji’s dismay.

“In our defense, Reyes, they had guns to our head.”

“Yeah. They were gonna kill us, so I killed them.”

“Genji, that is absolutely not how these things work. But…” Reyes sighed once again, and Jesse could picture him massaging his temples as he considered punishments and reactions. “Just come find me. I’m not far, I’ll come meet you halfway. I’ll make sure you both walk away unscathed.” Jesse heaved a sigh of relief, and Genji sneaked a soft glance at him, before looking away out of fear of being caught. He pulled Jesse’s jacket around him once more, feeling its warmth and inhaling Jesse’s aftershave softly. How comforting. 

He would have punished himself for such weakness before, but now he relished in it. Just as long as he was not caught, of course.

“Should we go find Reyes then?” 

“We might as well. He’ll keep me safer than you ever would.” Genji folded his arms, striding towards the street he remembered Reyes being positioned on. Such a walk was one he could do with his eyes closed.

Reyes was near his old home, after all.

“Hey, wait up, Genj! You walk too fast, I can’t keep up…”

He had a new home now. And he much preferred it to his last.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOH.... THEY ESCAPED!! I was gonna put them meeting Reyes in this chapter, but next chapter is Reyes dealing with The Situation they caused sooo... though it'd be more fitting for them to meet him next chapter!! Sorry this is a bit short, but I hope you enjoy nonetheless! I wanted to write about Jesse's reaction STRAIGHT AWAY I got a bit excited :D  
> tumblr: tousakamis


	8. Chapter 8

Cold air weaved its way through barren streets, Hanamura now eerily silent where the flashing and booming of parties was no more. Instead of hearts pumping blood rhythmically with music, they instead raced with dread. Pulling his arms through the sleeves of the jacket previously draped around his shoulders, Genji shivered and breathed sharply. His hands didn’t reach the end of the sleeves, making him feel childish. At least he was warmer, he supposed. With his warmth considered, his eyes flickered to Jesse, wary of how he lacked a jacket. However, contrary to his expectations, Jesse bore rolled up sleeves and hands shoved in his pockets. Of course the cold didn’t phase him - he was a walking ray of sunshine. Catching his eye, Jesse smiled softly, causing the other to break eye contact; Genji now had to catch a rising temperature and heart rate before it escaped.

“You alright?” Jesse inquired, acknowledging the sudden movement.

“Yes. I was just wondering if you wanted your jacket back…” Despite the offer at hand, Genji pulled the jacket closer to him. The answer was already given.

“Nah! I’ll be a’ight. Reyes might have a spare hoodie or two, he lives in ‘em. I’ll steal his and you can keep mine!” Grinning widely, Jesse watched Genji fiddle with the sleeves, struggling as they only seemed to cover his hands more.

“Keep it…?”

“Yeah! It’s cute on y- I… I mea-” Completely freezing to process the words he surely hadn’t just heard, Genji seemed to be thawed from his frozen state by a fiery blush on his face. On the other hand, Jesse’s pace increased, trying to outrun his feelings before he realised they stood still. Gradually turning to face the other, his eyes seemed to focus anywhere but where they needed to. Hearts aflutter, faces ablaze. Both stood still for a small moment, before warmth engulfed Genji’s thought process, eyes crinkling as he walked forward. 

“It looked cute on you, too. Now,” Grabbing Jesse by the arm, forcing him to turn around, “we’re nearly there.” What was left of the walk was silence and air so thick it could suffocate you. As they walked, Genji never let go of Jesse’s arm - the thought didn’t even cross their minds.

Eventually, after rounding a corner, they came face to face with a wall reaching up towards the heavens, guarding a barricaded gate with its swords and bolts. Two men stood as backup, yawning with their guns awake on behalf of them. Their attention had yet to turn to the two, who ducked for cover the moment they realised they could repeat their mistake. 

Though, Genji wouldn’t feel remorse if he were to kill these two either. These were faces he recognised, faces he once sought refuge in. Faces that he watched walked past his corpse, faces whose only concern was disposal. Instinctively, his hand reached for the sword resting on his back, preparing to ask for Soba’s aid once more. Noticing the others' hostility, Jesse grabbed his outstretched hand and held it close to his chest, causing Genji to turn.

“Genji, you can’t go killin’ another bunch o’ people, okay?”

“But they watched me  _ die _ , Jesse, and they o-”

“You called me Jesse again. You did it when we arrived in Hanamura too… I like it when ya call me Jesse, it’s all soft when you say it. You don’t gotta be formal with me.” Their eyes interlocked, Jesse’s eyes sparkling so bright they put the stars above them to shame. Maybe Jesse could teach the stars to burn as bright as him. “I know they hurt ya. Trust me, I’ll fuckin’ kick ‘em in the dicks.” Genji snorted unintentionally at the joke, yet didn’t bother to excuse himself. “But right now? We gotta stay in the shadows. Find out the best time to get ‘em. An’ when it’s time? Please, tear ‘em to shreds.” Genji stared up at him, awestruck. He didn’t expect such an expression of maturity, and he didn’t expect his support. Though he was a member of a black ops unit, Jesse always stuck to his code of morals. Genji knew little of his past, but he assumed Deadlock was not so strict on morals, always leaning towards the wrong. Now, Jesse prided himself on always doing right - did he consider Genji’s revenge to be right?

Part of him scoffed, truly curious as to how such a thing could be wrong after what he went through.

“Ok, I’ll wait. You best be there when I get my revenge… what is it you cowboys say? ‘Partner’? Well, that’s what you are to me now.” Jesse smiled, causing a mirror effect in the man staring at him.

“Damn, you really pay attention to how I speak, huh…? Well, that’s a’ight with me. We’ll be partners in crime.” He shot a pointed finger towards Genji, making the other laugh so wholeheartedly, his own began to race.

“Ok, lovebirds, so which one of you was going to let me know you’d arrived?” Emerging from his cloak of shadow, Reyes patted the two on their heads, forcing them to look up at him. Both scowled at his grin, the soft air floating away with the wind. “Genji, I have some spare clothes in one of my bags. Go get changed.” He gestured behind him, where numerous bags and devices lay in the open, shielded only by the moon. Gradually, Genji arose from where he crouched, taking off Jesse’s jacket and passing it to him as he walked over to the bags. Reyes sat crossed-legged behind Jesse, prompting him to turn and face the commander bearing a large grin. “Your  _ jacket _ ? Seriously, mijo?”

“Be quiet!! His jacket was covered in blood, okay…”

“So are his trousers, but you didn’t give yours to him, didya now?”

“Whaddya even mean by that, Reyes?! Anyway, I can see the look you’re givin’ me. Stop it.” Jesse folded his arms, deeply exhaling as Reyes chuckled.

“You’re so dramatic, mijo! I’m not looking at you in any way!” Jesse raised an eyebrow, as Reyes raised his hands in the air, “C’mon, you both have to explain what happened. You’re both lucky I’m in a good mood, or I would have beaten your asses the second I saw ya.”

“I know, you’re a goddamn monster…” Jesse stood up, his knees cracking. He could hear Genji hiss at the sound from the back of the alley, which made him giggle under his breath. He offered a hand to Reyes, who graciously took the offer, and ran his fingers through his hair as they walked over to Genji. “Well, Genj, care to explain what happened back there?”

“...me? Why, that’s rude. You just stood there and watched me.” He was buttoning up his shirt, side-eyeing Jesse with his back turned.

“Uh, I ain’t the one who went mad with the sword?”

“You went mad  _ over _ the sword, though. You were lost for words...” Tucking his shirt into his trousers, Genji turned to face them both, fatigue etched across his face like his scars. How he used to survive consecutive nights out was unknown to him now, for he had transformed into a man yearning for his bed instead of someone to put in it.

“...fair ‘nough. A’ight, so to make a long story short, some weird Shimada clan fellas followed us to the bathroom, and put guns to our heads. They said they recognised Genji or sumn, and one of ‘em insulted Genji. So, Genji, completely out of the damn blue, whips out a green glowing sword and kills ‘em…. Damn, it still makes no sense!” His head fell into his hands as he groaned, aware of how little sense his explanation made. To defend himself, he thought of how little sense it made to him, and acknowledged how that would reflect in his explanation. Genji had also held his head in his hands after Jesse spoke, his head aching from the explanation. Analysis took place, and then Reyes sighed.

“So, it was you or them… but still, Genji,” a head whipped upright at the sound of his name, fearing punishment if he were to ignore his addressal, “the doctor said she doubted you’d have your links to the clan. What with the arm being lost  _ and  _ the mental sever, it was highly unlikely you’d be able to bring the dragon out… So, any clue as to why?”

“Wait, you knew he had this dragon?”Jesse piped up, confused by the large words and confused by Reyes’ presumed understanding… were they keeping secrets from him? Was he not deemed trustworthy enough to know? Or were they just being plain secretive for no reason, like they usually are? The latter always annoyed Jesse - he was a rightful member of Blackwatch, he deserved to know important information such as the fact a fellow member can summon a goddamn dragon from his fuckin’ arm and channel the scary energy into his really sharp sword. It’s a necessary thing to note, he reasoned.

“Yes, but we didn’t want to tell the agents. Genji wanted to have a low profile as it was, which  _ someone  _ ruined on day one, and to get hopes up for something that might have not been true would’ve been a problem. None of the members trust me already…” He sighed, not referring to the incident causing this distrust. If he were to, he’d go on another ‘ _ Morrison has such a big ego like seriously he is NOT that great and he always takes credit for things I do and then has the audacity to insult my decisions _ ’ themed rant. In the last week, Jesse had heard about 3 in entirety, and snippets of dozens more. The two shared knowing eye contact, Jesse’s expression softening in hopes of calming down the sizzling rage in Reyes’ head. His eyes could ignite flames, no matter how much he masked his frustration. Jesse mirrored this at times. 

_ You can only hold onto anger for so long _ , Ana said time and time again, directed towards them both. 

_ Don’t let it consume you _ .

“I was not aware I still had Soba. But I’m glad I do… she usually comes out when I need protecting, so maybe that is why? I’m not sure either…” He ran two fingers across his mechanical arm, the feeling of flesh against mechanics still uncomfortable no matter how many times he did it. He missed everything that made him human, and he couldn’t help but glare towards the gates of his funeral. “But it doesn’t matter very much. What does matter is that she’s still there - I’ll tell Angela when we get home.”

“Okay, good. Well, that makes this a failed mission. I’m gonna  _ love _ explaining this one… But don’t worry, let’s just get you two home. Idiotas…”

  
  


“Reyes, you idiot! Why aren’t you punishing them?”

“They don’t need punishing, it was self defense. Would you rather I lost them? And that Genji died to the clan,  _ again _ ?” 

Too loud. Just be quiet. Stop arguing. The arguments are so annoying and unnecessary. Their voices are too loud, just shut up… Genji repeated insults and degradation again and again in his head, hands clasped over his ears almost protectively. His knees had brought themselves up to his chest, tightening his chest even more. He was alone in the kitchen. Jesse was training with Captain Amari’s daughter, whom Genji hadn’t caught the name of, and everyone else was either minding their own business in their rooms or arguing. And arguing is simply the worst use of their time, especially when he was the subject.

“Are you okay, habibi? What’s bothering you?” Addressing him was an unknown voice, but one soft and welcoming. Slowly removing his hands from their vicious grasp, he turned to find the voice addressing him. An older woman, presumably in her 40s, her long dark hair flowing down her back approached him from the door, a distinctive tattoo under her left eye. She bore a soft smile, a smile that anyone felt at home looking at. Home… what a strange place. It felt as if no such place existed, but right now he felt as if he was at home. “You’re Genji Shimada, right? One of Gabriel’s boys?”

“...that is my name, yes.”

“I’m glad to finally meet you. My name is Ana Amari, I’m assuming you’ve heard of me? You look anxious, my dear. Would some tea help?” She stood behind him, draping a blanket around his shoulders. He recognised the ‘blanket’ as soon as its colours came into view - Jesse’s serape. 

“Why do you have Jes... Mccree’s serape…?”

“He asked me to bring it to you, while he looks after Fareeha for me. Fareeha is my daughter, I’m sure she would like you, you fit her image of cool. She adores Jesse, after all…” Ana approached the kettle on the counter, rummaging through the cupboards. “Is chamomile tea alright for you? It might help put you at ease, or you’ll fall asleep. Either is a cure for your anxiety.” She chuckled, awaiting the answer as her hand hovered in the cupboard.

“...yes please. Thank you, Captain Amari.”

“Call me Ana, sweetheart.” She began to pour water into a glass cup, the chamomile tea bag floating in the water as she stirred it slowly. “I’ve heard a lot about you from Gabriel and Jesse, you know. Jesse’s very fond of you, he always speaks of you! It’s quite cute.” She giggled softly to herself, as Genji ears perked up at the mention of this information. Jesse spoke of him, when he wasn’t there? And these words were positive? Shocking, but not out of character; Genji had to wipe the blush off his cheeks before he was called out on it by another person. These feelings were growing to be quite annoying, but he couldn’t deny he loved the warmth.

“What sort of things does he say?”

“He says there is an amazing ninja who he shares a room with. He says you always listen to him, you always respond to his rambles, and you joke with him even when your eyes spell murder.” Placing a cup of tea in front of him, Ana sat on the seat opposite and drank from her own cup. “There you go, dear. Hopefully it’s to your liking. I won’t stay long, don’t fret about taking your mask off in front of me. I’ve also heard from Jesse that you dislike taking it off around others, and I respect that.” In three gulps, her drink vanished, and she placed the cup in front of her. “He says more, but I think you’d prefer to hear his praise from him. I’m going to go check on him, and stop Jack and Gabriel from tearing each other apart - they’re an absolute nightmare, they’re lucky to have me.” She shrugged and approached the door, leaving almost as soon as she arrived. In those short minutes, the air had shifted monumentally - from suffocation to a soft, gentle air enveloping his senses. Genji took off his mask and took a sip from his cup.

Comfort. That’s what he felt right now.

It was sweet, and soft, and warm… those words can match something else, can’t they?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> dude im going to be perfectly honest i forgot moira went on this mission too so pretend shes off doing evil little things on the other end of hanamura i cannot find a place to add her. ANYWAYS ALL WAS OKAY IN THE END!!! they are alright, they are home.... and with the introduction of ana brings the overwatch members. hell yeah we're gonna have blackwatch x overwatch crossover soon, because i want to write genji and tracer interactions RIGHT NOW!!!!! i loved writing this chapter, it was very therapeutic, i hope you all enjoy it.....  
> oh yeah, also, the idea of slowburn has been thrown out of the window. could you have ever guessed????  
> tumblr: @tousakamis


	9. Chapter 9

Months went by in a blur. Genji transformed from a menacing face to just another agent. People often greeted him in the hallway, presuming closeness, only to be met with a piercing stare to scare them to their soul. When not moping in his room, he visited Angela in her office, or he had tea with Ana (and potentially Reyes, if he wasn't passed out in his office). A small sense of belonging had arisen; considering there was nowhere else for him, he would rather be here than his grave. The most obvious cause of his growing comfort sat on the end of his bed, talking about his family. Eyes shining like the stars, a constellation of freckles traced across his cheeks and nose.

"And then, my li'l sis… wait. Are you… a'ight with me talkin' about this?" Jesse turned to face Genji, his mumbles paused by a sudden concern. Genji perked his head up, and sighed.

"Of course I am. It… does remind me of painful memories, but I wouldn't want to restrict you of yours due to my pain." 

"...eh?" A tilt of the head spelled confusion, and Genji chuckled.

"I mean it's okay. Keep going, your voice is louder than the bad thoughts." He also wanted to say it was nicer, but he kept that thought to himself. 

"My li'l siblings would've loved ya, Genj. I can imagine it," shuffling closer and tucking his knees to his chest, Jesse puffed his cheeks out and laughed. "They'd flock to ya. Call ya big bro and ask you to play with 'em. Maybe I woulda got a break!" His hands flung themselves in the air, frowning though his statement had no ill intent. The frown then morphed into a grin, turning to Genji and staring at his bewildered face. "They were so cute 'n' sweet, we always played games or messed about on the farm together..." His voice, strangely melancholy, drifted off at the end of his sentence.

"Do you miss them?"

"Everyday. But, here ain't too bad either. It was Deadlock that I fuckin' hated." Filling the gap between them, questions arose in Genji's head. Jesse had been quite open about his past with others, talking about his family and how Reyes found him anytime no one else spoke. Yet, a major gap in his life remained unfilled, and he refused to speak of it. If you were to prompt it, he would change the subject, his face morphing into discomfort and dismay. Despite his cheery attitude towards everyone, anger hid inside him. An intense anger, capable of consuming all. And you don't get such a devouring rage from a happy upbringing and good teenage years. As much as Genji longed to know more, he knew it was not his place to ask. Unless Jesse wished to tell him, Genji would stay silent; he hated being questioned about things he didn't want to speak of, he wouldn't wish that frustration upon someone else. "I'll tell ya about Deadlock one day, I promise."

"But…" Reaching out to grab Jesse's hand, Genji's voice wavered. "You haven't told anyone about Deadlock. Not even Reyes, and you trust him a lot."

"'nd I trust you, too! You listen to me talk when no one else does. I could go on for ages 'nd you'd still be sat listenin' to me, even if you wanted to leave. I appreciate it." A smile melted across Genji’s face, who sighed softly.

“Your voice is calming. Talk as much as you like, you fill the silence better than I ever could.” Jesse clutched a hand to his chest, mirroring the sigh he just heard. Resting his back against the wall, he glanced over at Genji while the other had yet to look. His hair, a messy bedhead, covered his forehead that usually bore metal plating. He had removed all but the plate over his mouth, due to a headache plaguing him the previous night. His eyes, with bags under them and faint lines of fatigue, glowed a soft red hue that spelled out more wonder than danger. Scratches coated his face, scarring his nose, cheeks and forehead, but his beauty… why, it was unchallenged. The first thing he had noticed was his beauty, and though many things had changed within the months, all for the better… Jesse had never stopped thinking of Genji as the most beautiful man he’d ever seen. “Why are you staring at me, Jes… Mccree?” Snapping his eyes away, before his motives could be read, Jesse fiddled with his fingers as he shifted his eyes to the ceiling.

“Was jus… starin’ into space. Didn’t mean to stare at ya.” Despite his claims, Jesse’s cheeks grew warmer with every word said. Genji stared back at him, smirking underneath his mask; Jesse was a terrible liar.

Then, as if it intended to ruin the mood, a door flung open. Jesse mumbled about people not knowing to knock, and got up from Genji’s bed to investigate. Clutching his knees closer to his chest, Genji watched Jesse walk to the door. A panicked splutter emerged from Jesse, who had returned almost as soon as he left, followed by the cause of heightened tension waltzing in as if she knew the effect she had.

“Hello, Jesse and Genji. It’s been a while.” Moira stood by the door, looking around cautiously as Jesse walked back to Genji’s bed. 

“What do  _ you _ want?!” Jesse spat through his teeth. He had never attempted to hide his distaste of Moira, causing numerous cackles from her as she said how she’d grow on him - the only way she’d grow on him was similar to an infectious bacteria, making him feel worse as he lost his life energy. That sounded like something she’d do, with all her evil science work.

“Oh, don’t be so hostile, Jesse! I’m here to pass on a message.” Jesse perched himself beside Genji and sulked. Why must  _ she  _ pass on the message? So many other agents exist, or the messenger could come and find them themselves… So why her? “Genji, you have been asked to visit Commander Morrison in his office. Whatever you have to hide, I advise you do it now…” She checked her nails and leered at him, who in turn kicked his legs to the floor and approached the door. 

“I have nothing to hide, O’Deorain. Do not project your misgivings onto me.” He pointed a finger at her, furrowing his brow almost defensively.

“Sure. We’re all here because we have rosy, happy pasts…” She glanced over at Jesse as she spoke, triggering a scowl from him too, “I was simply warning you, looking out for you. I’m a medic, I help people. You should trust me.” And, with her lies lingering in the air, she turned on her heel and left. Begrudgingly, Genji followed, turning down the opposite hallway to her.

He had no idea why he’d been summoned by Morrison.

It’d been months since the Hanamura incident, one he apologised profusely for. After that, he kept a low profile, only visiting Angela to give her company, rather than requesting medical aid.

He did everything a good agent would be expected to do - train and spar with others, practice fighting techniques in areas of weakness, be well behaved (the obvious outlier was not counted, for it had been dealt with)... so, what was with the sudden invite? A check-in would be monitored by Reyes or Angela, so while that idea existed it remained unlikely. 

Unfortunately, his thoughts had been too slow for his pace, as he stood staring at the Overwatch members, most of which stared right back. Due to Blackwatch and Overwatch being connected, to access one from another was easy, though many went against it. Many members of Overwatch had a distaste of Blackwatch and its work, causing a mutual dislike between agents. However, Genji had yet to meet anyone on Overwatch’s side, apart from Angela and Morrison.

So, of all things he anticipated, a girl appearing out of thin air was not one of them.

“Heeeeello there! I don’t recognise your face!” Holding her hand to her chin, she almost teleported around him. “What brings you here, cyborg man?”

“I’m sorry, but…” He flinched as she waved her hands around, his shoulders rising to almost reach his ears. “How are you moving like that…?”

“Oh! You don’t know who I am! Oh, that explains a lot, I’m so sorry if I startled ya!” She spun around with a faint blue trail, making a peace sign as she finished spinning. “Name’s Lena Oxton, I go by Tracer in Overwatch! Just call me Lena though, Tracer is really awkward! ‘Specially when I’m off duty!” She giggled as Genji continued to stare at her, bewildered. “I can basically time travel. Got caught in some freak time accident, and this keeps me, well, in the present! But enough about me. You’re Jesse’s friend, aren’t you?”

“...does he speak of me to you, too?” Still wary of her time travel despite her explanation, he considered his options. She seemed friendly, but loud and friendly people tended to make his desired seclusion impossible. And if he were to ignore her, Jesse would be on his case, due to their supposed friendship.

“Yes, of course!! You’re a ninja, right? He told me about his super cool new roommate, a ninja who looks like he could kill everyone in the building but is actually kinda c- wait.” She paused mid-sentence and mid-step, as the two approached the office Genji had been summoned to. Genji, startled by the sudden pause when she seemed to be unstoppably energetic, collided with her back and stumbled backwards. “He told me I can’t tell you that bit.” 

“What bit…?!” She continued walking, ignoring his panicked questioning as to what Jesse said about him that he couldn’t hear of. 

“You were here to see the boss, right? Well, here’s his door! It was nice to meetcha, Genji! You’re almost exactly like I imagined… I can see why Jesse likes you so much!” And, quite literally, she vanished. Leaving Genji stood in front of a door, a door of which he really did not want to knock on. However, as if it heard his internal monologue, it opened slightly with a booming voice echoing from inside.

“Come in.”

Oh, Genji wished he had his rebellious instincts still.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> most of this chapter is just mcgenji chatting and being cute and im not sorry. ALSO I FINALLY GOT TO WRITE TRACER WOOOOOOOOOOH i love her!!!!! what do u think jesse said to her about genji........... :O  
> this chapter was meant to be longer, including morrisons meeting, but i really just wanted to share this now. we can have the morrison meeting and some more tracer later!!!!  
> tumblr: tousakamis


	10. Chapter 10

Greeted with darkness, Genji stepped inside Morrison’s office. Compared to Reyes’ office, who always had his curtains up even in the harshest of winters, the only light creeping in came from the door he held open. Sheepishly closing the door, wary of how long he’d held it open, an old hatred of dark came crawling through his skin once again. His room lacked this issue, for Jesse always kept a lamp on for the both of them, and even under the moonlight the stars will ease your anxieties. But this room, shrouded in shadow, reminded him of that night. How the darkness left him to rot, the stars cowering in shame. How his first sight upon being awakened was darkness, and when finally able to see, these revolted nuts and bolts revealed themselves to him. For the past few months, he had at least masked his disgust towards his body in favour of not stressing Angela further. But now, he would tear himself to shreds and no one would find their corpse; this time, Overwatch wouldn’t save him.

“Please, take a seat. I’m glad the message reached you.” To compare his hospitalities to Reyes was to compare ice and fire. Morrison, the ‘picture boy’ of Overwatch, only seemed to know formalities when speaking to Blackwatch and its members. As if they weren’t even human. A comfortable warmth began pulsing through Genji’s chest… rage.

“What did you wish to speak of, Commander?” Morrison shuffled through the paperwork on his desk, grabbing a lined sheet and a pen from one of his drawers. By this point, Genji’s shoulders had reached his ears.

“After a few months of being in Blackwatch, I ask all members to report back to me about the group.” Genji doubted his honesty, having been skeptical since arrival. He made a note to ask Jesse about the truthfulness of his words. “So, please tell me about Blackwatch.” Genji remembered the Hanamura mishap, the numerous sparring sessions in which he overpowered his opponents with ease. He remembered the warmth, but also the cold of metal scratching metal. All information Morrison didn’t care for.

“It’s alright.” What else was he to say? If he were to say more, he would reveal parts of himself not even he wanted to face.

“Is that all…? Alright then, tell me about your colleagues. From what I’ve heard, you and Jesse Mccree seem to get along surprisingly well. But I don’t know about anything else.” While not a lie, it was not the truth he wished Morrison to question him about.

“They’re okay. Mccree is a good teammate, and Reyes is a good leader.” He purposefully omitted Moira, as all she is good for is causing dread, and watched Morrison’s eyes widen at the mention of Reyes.

“Reyes? Tell me about his leadership.” Genji scowled.

“If you want me to tell you about him, you’re asking the wrong person.”

“But you’ve been in a mission led by him, and that mission went terribly wrong-”

“Because of  _ me _ . Look, sir, if you want somebody to sort out your petty feud, and you’re asking me to be your go-between… you asked the wrong person.” Genji threw himself to stand, clenching his fists tightly as he puffed out his chest. Whether he aimed to be intimidating or to hold himself back was lost in the red of his anger. “You are grown men, sort this out yourself, instead of acting like silly teenage girls...” His hands shook as he threw them around in the air, knocking papers over with the gust of air produced. Morrison, taken aback, unintentionally moved his chair away from Genji. “You two are meant to be the higher ups… but all I’m doing is looking down on you!” Composing himself after the initial shock, Morrison tucked his chair back into his desk and leaned towards the man in front of him, sighing.

“Angela told me there might be side effects like this…” To this, Genji erupted. Vision blurred, brain becoming fuzz, the red he grew familiar with consuming all rationality.

“‘Side effect’...?! Are my human emotions just a side effect to you, sir? Sir, do you not consider me human?!” Smashing what remained of the paperwork to the floor, his movements mimicked the punches he so desperately wanted to throw. Tears formed in his eyes, tears of fire and tears of anguish. “Overwatch is meant to be some wonderful place, it is meant to save people, yet… yet… shirimasen… yet you’re all just a joke!” Every step blazed a mark in the floor beneath him, as he stormed towards the door mumbling unintelligible Japanese as a means of calming himself down. Everything was still red. The only exception was the one clear thing in the distance - Jesse, who warily approached him with eyes like a fearful puppy.

“Genji! What… What in God’s name happened there…?” Jesse gently tapped on Genji’s shoulder, his wide eyes fixated on the man standing beside him. 

“Don’t fucking touch me, Mccree.” Slapping Jesse’s hand away, he paused for a moment to mirror the worry etched on Jesse’s face, only to furiously blink away the tears forming in his eyes and continue running towards the Blackwatch base, away from Jesse and from Lena and from Morrison and from all the other judging faces.

“Huh…? Dios mio, Genji…” Jesse turned to Lena, his hands trembling from anxiety. “Was he like that when he arrived?”

“No… he was fine, exactly how you spoke about him.” She peered through the doorway to see how far he had gotten, placing a wary hand on Jesse’s arm. “He hasn’t gotten far, and I’m sure people would’ve noticed a distressed ninja running.” Acknowledging the anxiety Jesse felt, Lena widened her arms, prompting Jesse to collapse into them and wrap his arms around her in a warm hug. 

“I’m gettin’ deja vu here, Lena… I’m stealin’ your lines!” He chuckled slightly and buried his face into Lena’s neck. Lena had been the only welcoming Overwatch member initially, keeping up with Jesse and constantly cheering him up, even when she would be told off for being in the wrong area. To call her a comforting figure would be an understatement.

“You should go to him, you silly billy! I can tell you’re his fave person here, even if he’d never admit it.”

“It’s definitely Angie, I dunno what you’re talkin’ about.”

“Just GO, Jesse!” She pushed him towards the door, blinking away before he could argue.

The hallways had always been quiet, but never this eerie.

The hallways had always mumbled to him, but never this scarily.

The hallways had always been long, but never this unending.

Jesse jogged through them, asking those he saw about Genji’s whereabouts and whether they’d seen him. The halls told him he’d never see Genji again, but he ignored it in favour of the information he gained. He wasn’t far, and he had slowed down.

Eventually, Jesse came to a standstill as he saw Genji’s back slump against a wall and curl in on itself.

“Genji!” No response. He walked up, standing above and behind him. He looked down at him, who showed little emotion in his body language or tone.

“Don’t you get tired of this, Mccree?” The question startled him, but Jesse tried to respond with the same confidence and warmth he liked to believe he expressed to Genji most of the time.

“Tired of what? Carin’ for my friend?”

“We’re not friends. We’re teammates in a black-ops group.”

“Well, I consider ya my friend. After all we’ve done these past few months, it's kinda hard for me not to.” He walked around Genji, sitting cross-legged in front of the man sulking against a wall. Genji looked away, attempting to appear unfazed. “Did Morrison interrogate ya? About teammates, about Reyes?” Genji nodded feebly, and Jesse sighed. “He did that to me when I joined, too. Cos I’m ‘special’, cos Reyes took me in. I just spat in the bastards face and told him to not fuckin’ speak to me ever again.” Despite the humorous tone of voice, his expression was solemn, almost distraught. “Of course, this was right after Deadlock, so… I wasn’t exactly a nice guy.” Genji’s eyes met Jesse’s, asking the unspoken questions about Deadlock and the transition from a gang to a government organisation.

“You’re… quite brave, Mccree.” Genji mumbled.

“Whaddya mean?”

“I mean… how you can just speak your mind. How you can be so open about how you feel about people, how you feel about right and wrong.”

“Trust me, I ain’t even scratched the surface. Reyes only puts up with my attitude cos he finds it funny, if he didn’t I’d be rottin’ in prison. But, that aside…” He fiddled with his fingers, looking down at the floor. “You’re the brave one. You went back to the place you nearly died at almost a month after it happened. I can’t even sleep at night without… without thinkin’ they’re gonna get me.” Jesse choked back a few tears, aware of Genji now sitting cross-legged in front of him, leaning forward out of concern. “‘m sorry, it’s jus’... I always feel like they’re gonna kill me, for leavin’ them. As much as I joke about it, as much as I try to find the positives… it’s fucking scary, Genj. I’m not brave at all.” Tears, warm and salty, dripped down his tears, for the first time in what felt like years. Though he showed little emotion in Deadlock, using them to his advantage in fights, this was the first time he ever truly showed the weakness he grew to detest. And Genji, seeming to understand this, gently grabbed one of Jesse’s hands and cupped it in his own.

“You are brave. You are being brave at this moment.” Jesse looked up, at the kind eyes only he was blessed enough to see. Then he looked down, at the soft touch that had been saved just for him. “I’m proud of you, Mccree.” The tears continued to flow, and in a panicked impulse Jesse shakily cupped Genji’s face in his hands, leaning forward. Genji did not challenge this touch, though his cheeks grew a dark shade of pink, mirroring Jesse’s. With trembling lips, he brought Genji’s face closer to his own and softly kissed his forehead.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :)  
> tumblr: @tousakamis


	11. Chapter 11

In a small moment, years seemed to have passed. But all moments of bliss must reach an end.

With great reluctance, Jesse pulled his face from Genji’s, whose eyes had crashed to the floor with a faint pink across his cheeks. Softly running a finger across the metal hiding his jaw, he couldn’t help but silently revel in the lack of negative response.

He knew Genji could have shoved him away with ease, and he knew of his hatred for affection at this stage.

Yet, as Genji somewhat leaned into Jesse’s hand, like a cat being petted, a question arose - why? Why was he so calm about this action he’d usually cut away? Jesse dragged his trembling hands from Genji’s face and used them to lift himself to stand. Though furrowing his brow in confusion, Genji mirrored this action. He stood for a moment, looking intently at Jesse, and seemed to bury his head in his hands, causing Jesse’s fluttering heart to change its tune in favour of a low, pounding dread.

“I’m sorry, Genj… I- I dunno why I did that…” No response. Often, when Genji went silent, it signalled the other's departure. “I’m gonna… go find Reyes. See ya when I see ya.” Jesse turned his back to the man who most likely wanted rid of him forever, and scolded himself for letting his vulnerability control his actions. A small clicking noise echoed through the hallway. Jesse presumed Genji also turned to leave, and didn’t blame him.

“Mccree.” A soft mumble, lacking its usual muffle, beckoned him. He wanted to turn around, take Genji in his arms and never let go. But, his body noncompliant and refusing to turn prohibited any response, until a hand grazed his shoulder. Jesse turned to face Genji and met a smile. Scars etched across his face, his lips chapped and cut up, his smile weak as if it was his first attempt to smile… he was so fucking beautiful, he was fucking angelic. Though weak, his smile seemed so genuine that Jesse felt his breath hitch in his throat, unable to believe this sight he had dreamt of. He looked at every part of Genji’s face, including the metallic plating holding him together, but the thing he lost himself in was his eyes. Sure. he’d be told how it’s just ‘such a cliché’, but the eyes staring at him bore a thousand stars, putting the galaxy to shame for just a moment before they closed again. Standing on the tips of his toes, Genji reached up to Jesse and softly kissed his cheek, a smile creeping across his lips at the sight of Jesse’s rising blush. He put the metal plating back on his face and sighed. “You are such an idiot, Mccree.” Despite the scorn of his words, his tone remained playful. He brushed his hand through Jesse’s hair, a slight frown forming across his face, and glided into the darkness in front of them.

Jesse’s hands had only begun to shake more, as one slowly rose to graze itself across the cheek that had just been kissed. His face matched the heat of the sun, though his temperature seemed insignificant compared to the way his heart raced. In a hazy world of dreams, he crashed his shoulder into the wall beside him, hoping to keep himself upright so he wouldn’t faint from shock. His shock, though immeasurable, could not begin to challenge the way his adoration for the other man grew. In his childish daydreams, he didn’t notice Reyes stood in front of him, slumped against the wall with his arms crossed. Jesse made eye contact, wary of how long he had been standing watching him swoon like some lovestruck fool… while he certainly was one, he didn’t really want others to know.

“So? Care to explain why you’re slumped against the wall looking all grossly lovestruck?” Reyes took a hand from under his arm and gestured to his office, which the two began to approach.

“Padre, I’m not bein’ funny, but if I tell ya you’ll be makin’ fun for the next few years!”

“You’re piquing my interest even more, mijo.” His tone seemed sarcastic, but his sincerity showed in his small chuckle escaping from his lips. “Go on, tell me about your love life, then.” He closed the office door behind them, as Jesse sat on his chair. A chair that once chained him down so he wouldn’t bare fangs, as he spat venom and spite back at Reyes in the hopes he would be the man to cause his downfall. He hoped he would be overthrowing Overwatch and dispelling justice as all knew it after a month. Now, he sat there every day, attempting to persuade Reyes to sleep a full eight hours and to ensure he kept on top of his meals. To say their relationship shifted would be quite an understatement.

“Damn, how’d ya ever guess…?” He had mentioned Genji… a few times. Maybe once everyday. Potentially in nearly every conversation. He certainly wasn’t obvious or anything like that.

“I’m just psychic, clearly. It’s got nothing to do with the fact you are hopelessly in love with your roommate and I walked past him looking awfully proud of himself and then saw you lost in a daydream.” Reyes perched himself on the edge of his desk, laughing before he spoke. “I ain’t gonna give you the _talk_ or anything like that-” Jesse choked on his breath, as Reyes almost cackled.

“Juro por Dios, Reyes! How could ya ever- I- I’m in shock. I dunno if I can ever recover.” Reyes continued to laugh, clearly satisfied with his joke, while Jesse buried his head in his hands and groaned. “Yer so embarrassing.”

“Thanks, nino, I pride myself on it.” He gave Jesse a small head pat and smiled, ruffling his hair. “Seriously, what on earth happened?”

“I don’t even know, that’s the thing! One minutes he’s ragin’ about, next minute I’m on the floor cryin’, then he’s smiling at me with his stupid soft eyes and suddenly I kissed his forehead and-”

“I’M SORRY, YOU WHAT?” Reyes’ eyes widened, leaning towards Jesse out of both concern and intrigue.

“I DON’T EVEN KNOW!” Jesse repeated the beginning of his rant, and groaned again. “He fuckin’ kissed me on the cheek, padre. Took off the metal platin’ ‘n’ everythin’.” Clearing his throat, he tapped Jesse on the back and sighed.

“I’d say I’m shocked, but I did see it coming. Not this soon, definitely. But you are his favourite, y’know.” He couldn’t help but remember Lena’s words before she quite literally shoved him into this mess, and smiled to himself. Did he really mean something to Genji? Did Genji view him in the same light he saw him shine under? Just the thought made him swoon.

“I am so not. Have ya _met_ Angie?” Maintaining his protest of Angela clearly being Genji’s favourite, Reyes took a sip of his coffee and raised an eyebrow at Jesse, followed by a forced frown that made Jesse shrug. “Don’t look at me like that, I know you’re considerin’ the options too.”

“Nope, you’re the only one I can see him trusting like that. We’re ignoring Doctor Ziegler, as she is his _doctor_ , mijo. I’m happy for you both!” Standing and approaching the door, Reyes opened it and laughed. “Why are you spending your time with me? Go find him. Go deal with this mess.” An order, similar to those given in combat. Love could be considered combat, with its tactics and its final goal of winning over somebody else… though love favoured affection and soft gestures instead of blood and bullets. Jesse nodded before leaving the room, to which Reyes winked and shoved a hand against his back. ‘Get out already and go find your loverboy’, he could hear Reyes say in his head. Jesse grumbled under his breath - seriously, he’s like an embarrassing parent! As much as he wished to find Genji and go question him on what he had been thinking, the issue plagued him.

He had no idea where Genji was and he had no idea where he went when he wasn’t in their room. ‘Their’ room… such a phrase that seemed so normal gained intimate connotations, and Jesse’s mind rushed with thoughts of romance. He yelled at his brain, about how this was the worst time to do this, and almost missed the black hair hidden in the hallway, walking towards the stairs. The stairs to the roof of the base.

Of course Genji went to the roof when alone. 

Jesse did so too, when he first arrived. 

The stars always serve as good company.

Slowly spiralling up the staircase to reach the roof, a bitterly cold wind cascaded around Jesse, causing him to grab his arms and squeeze them gently in the hopes he wouldn’t freeze. Though you couldn’t exactly describe it as ‘cold’, the weather seemed to enjoy how it worsened the anxiety consuming him. His chest tightening and tightening and tightening, his hands shaking and shaking and shaking. How horrible this nauseating feeling can be, preparing you for ‘danger’ until you need it most. By then, your legs are rendered immobile and you succumb to your doom. That’s how these situations usually went for him, anyway. But… talking to Genji wouldn’t bring doom, right? Anytime he dreaded speaking to Genji alone, the other surprised him. Sometimes he surprised himself. Rather than fear, should this feeling be called excitement? It felt warm in his chest, though its racing seemed to be his main focus. The cold of the wind seemed to be no more, as he reached the top of the roof and saw Genji, solemnly focusing on the sky that seemed more like a painting. One of his knees reached his chin, as he half-rested his face on it, and the other swung off the side of the building. Both of his arms were wrapped around the tucked in leg, almost as if he attempted to take up as little space as possible. He did that a lot, Jesse noticed. Trying to be as small as possible so nobody notices you, and so people aren’t annoyed by you further, or just because you don’t _want_ to take up space… familiar aching echoed in his chest. 

“Why are you here?” Jesse asked softly, in the hopes he wouldn’t disrupt a train of thought. Usually, Genji would ask such a question. Full of scorn and full of annoyance. Questioning why he would be followed, questioning the effort, and just general annoyance at somebody’s presence. But, now, he no longer had such annoyance in Jesse’s presence. Well, that’s what everybody was saying. Maybe this moment would prove them right, or terribly wrong.

“I could ask you the same thing. How did you find me?” Genji kicked his legs out as he laid on the roof, staring up at the constellations above them. Jesse, confused as to whether this was an invitation to join in or not, wandered over to him and sat cross-legged.

“Ya can’t answer a question with a question, it defeats the whole point of the first question… But I jus’ kinda thought you’d be up here. I went here all the damn time, when I first got in Blackwatch… I still do, some nights. I usually presume yer asleep.” Genji patted the ground behind Jesse, prompting him to lie down. They were alone under the stars, why was he so worried? He knew the answer, for it was the reason behind his visit.

“I haven’t slept properly in months, Mccree. I did wonder where you always went off to.” A soft chuckle escaped his lips as he rolled to lay on his side, facing Jesse. Noticing the others movement in his peripheral vision, Jesse awkwardly did the same. “The stars are nice. They don’t judge you, do they? Maybe they do, maybe I’m very wrong.” He drew stars with his fingers on the rooftop, smiling under his mask. “But they seem understanding. They would never directly question you, they watch you. Guide you. People used to follow the stars, didn’t they?”

“Travellers did, yeah. My ma told me about how her folks would ride on horses, trusting the stars to show ‘em where to go.” He watched Genji’s movements intently, amazed at how relaxed he seemed at that moment. “It clearly worked, or I wouldn’t be here!” The two laughed.

“I like the night sky. It’s seen me at my worst, cut up and covered and blood, but it still shines so bright.” His eyes subconsciously shifted to Jesse’s as he mentioned its brightness. “So, I answered your question. I’m here because I like the sky. Now I can ask one myself.” While not logical, for he had asked a question at the beginning, Jesse didn’t argue. “Why did you kiss my forehead, Jesse Mccree?”

“And why didya kiss my cheek, Genji Shimada?” A silence broke between them. A short-lived silence, but one long enough to break the soft atmosphere completely.

“...I thought I’d return the favour.” He mumbled, almost incoherently -Jesse definitely heard, and he definitely began to blush.

“Well, I don’t really know why I did it. I just felt… safe, I guess. And when I feel safe, I do stupid stuff. ‘Cos I don’t think about how it’ll affect me.”

“You felt safe with me?” Genji’s eyes widened, and Jesse couldn’t help but grin.

“Of course I do, I always have done! When you’re in hell, you accept the blessing when God sends ya an angel.”

“I’m not a blessing or an angel, Mccree. I feel like I crawled from hell half-dead.” A scowl formed across Jesse’s face.

“Lighten up, ya depressin’ bitch! You’re certainly like light to me.” Slapping a hand to his mouth once he realised what he just said, Jesse threw himself upright while Genji seemed to melt into a puddle. “I am so sorry, I- I keep sayin’ dumbass sappy shit, it’s so embarrassin’...” Genji slowly sat upright, unintentionally placing his hand on Jesse’s.

“It’s cute…” Genji whispered, only to stand up and leave without saying another word. He wouldn’t let himself be embarrassingly sappy too; though, the question as to whether Jesse heard wouldn’t be answered.

He did hear.

And he smiled, laughing to himself when he knew he was finally alone. An intense laugh, of sincerity and of shock. 

God, he was so in love. And he didn’t even bother to hide it!

Well, at least he knew he was loved too.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOOOOOOOOOH CAN I GET A HELL YEAH!!!!!! (HELL YEAH!!!!!!) these past two chapters have been a thrill to write, im so happy with myself! i hope you all enjoyed this and the last, im sorry for the cliffhanger last chapter i didnt do it on purpose.... i did actually i lied. im loving the feedback im receiving btw, it really makes my day! i hope you all know every tumblr note and every comment makes me light up with joy, its part of the thrill of posting this fic...  
> tumblr: @tousakamis


	12. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw // blood and injury  
> i dont describe it in that much depth but please steer clear!! just skip a few paragraphs down if that'll upset you, i dont wanna upset anyone :<

Months passed, with nothing major happening. 

But then there was another mission.

Blackwatch existed for that purpose, after all.

More undercover investigations, more blood to spill.

You'd think, after a year, Genji would have grown used to this life. But this life, one he clung to desperately in fear of losing it again, only functioned well when he took another. Missions like these were never clean, after all. It just depended on how much you wanted to lose. If you had asked Genji what he wished to lose a year ago, he would have scoffed. After nearly losing his life at the hands of somebody he held so dear, do you truly think he had any more to lose? He had closed himself off from everyone else, locking his heart away. 

But something still crept in, and to see a bullet fly in the stomach of the one he cared for…

"Jesse!" His head whipped around as he heard a startled grumble, followed by a thud to the ground. He was alive; bullets to the stomach were not an instant kill, you'd have to have shot his brain or heart. But he was bleeding. The crimson Genji had grown to not care for looked so ugly on Jesse, as it seeped into the gravel. His eyes didn't know whether to focus or blur, but either didn't help him to process this sight. Jesse clutched his stomach, taking slow and deep breaths as if he knew the procedure for dying. While Genji looked at him, he watched another bullet fly at him, completely knocking Jesse off his knees and onto the floor. Blood spilled from his mouth from the impact, making Genji grimace.

"Don't focus on me, Genj! Focus on them! I'll be okay!" He would not be okay. Reyes, seemingly from nowhere, rushed across the field and lifted Jesse up, cradling him. The two mumbled in Spanish, causing tears to spill from Reyes' eyes, with his trembling hands clutching Jesse closer. Genji didn't know what to do, but he knew any contribution he made could worsen it all. He wanted to be there for Jesse, comforting him, but he also wished to cause his attackers demise. Anger overpowering love, his hand stretched for his sword, the one link to _his_ murderers. Jesse wasn't dead, yet, but Genji’s anger pulsed through him like his heartbeat as if that were the case. The blade felt firm in his hands as he strode forward, feeling all the guns point towards him - but a man who craves death is unfazed when looking it in the eye. A familiar warmth flowed through his veins, the red that blinded him becoming the green he grew well acquainted with as a child.

"Ryujin no ken wo kurae!" His blade a flurry of green, he lunged and swiped through the torsos of them all. All the guns dropped to the floor, for they were unneeded in causing this spillage. He knew how to cut them where it hurt, he knew how to leave them writhing in pain. It’s what happened to him, after all. He swore revenge that day, and though this wasn’t the revenge he seeked, his chest still pounded as his grip on his sword tightened, advancing through the mess. Blood seeped into his wiring - nothing Angela couldn’t fix. She had more pressing matters, after all, for he and Jesse didn’t trust Moira’s medical expertise for a moment. They had been healed by her, only after she drained the lifeforce of another. To criticise her in this moment would be hypocritical, considering his actions, but he didn’t care. 

He had one person to find, one person to finish the job. And, sprawled out in front of him as if by luck, shuffling towards the wall to run from the bloody streak, was his man. Jesse’s shooter. Now, Genji was unsure of how he could clarify Jesse. They were not just friends, but nothing official had been established either. Just two lovestruck fools in the midst of a dangerous area for trusting another. Yet, as his human hand trembled, he rose his blade above his head and struck down. Everything was red. Red blood, red vision, red hissing in his ear. He could see, hear and taste red. But it didn’t matter. As long as somebody felt his wrath, as long as somebody suffered. 

“Genji, please!” Reyes grabbed Genji from behind, lifting him in the air to physically remove him from his state of hysteria. Genji continued to struggle, fighting the tight grip around his waist, but it was no use. Reyes carried him back to the others, where Jesse lay unconscious. “He’s alive, mijo. I promise, he’ll be okay. You were much worse, and you were saved, weren’t you? You don’t need to do more damage, nino, you don’t. I’d rather you both get home in one piece, I’d rather bring you both home with me. Please.” He stumbled on his words, for tears were still trickling down his cheeks, but as he clutched Genji close in hopes of calming him down, Genji felt himself cry too. He hadn’t cried in ages, but the warmth and stinging was undeniable. He dropped his blade, succumbed to Reyes’ hug, and allowed himself to sob.

The halls had never felt so long. They always felt large, scary, as if they were endless, but now he had something to reach it seemed like he never would. Genji had been the only one to walk away without injuries from that mission, all the others suffering in some way. Though, it was to be expected, considering the suffering he caused others. He wanted to feel guilt or remorse, but a sinister part of him could only laugh. It’s what they deserved for hurting him. If he suffered, all others should. A faint echo of Angela’s voice, saying how this revenge would only cause him more dismay and would drive him down the wrong path, found itself being drowned with the commander's commendations of his bravery. How he was just the strength they wanted. He knew that was his only purpose in Blackwatch, for he had been told it outright by other members. At least he served his function, at least he didn’t serve the role of an unneeded hindrance. Eventually, with his thoughts almost overpowering him, he came face to face with a medical room. One he’d been in so many times, one he could have lived in if it weren’t for Angela’s insistence. Well, _that_ didn’t turn out all that bad. 

He knocked on the door, greeted by a doctor he did not recognise the face of, and quite frankly did not care about. For, behind him, was Jesse and Reyes. Reyes had curled up asleep on a chair, refusing to leave Jesse’s side until he recovered. Genji insisted he should do the same, as this injury was due to his negligence, but Angela refused. Told him how being with Jesse in this state might cause his own grief to resurface. Jesse had been allowed to stay when Genji was in a medical room, so why not the other way around? Well, it didn’t matter. He was here now. And Jesse smiled at him, with the same softness and adoration he always greeted him with. That smile seemed to be saved for him, and it always made Genji’s heart feel at ease.

“Genji. I thought you’d never come.”

“Why would you assume that? I didn’t leave Angela alone for hours. I wanted to stick with you.” He almost sprinted to Jesse’s side, unsure as to how to greet him. He wanted to hug him, to hold him close and apologise for letting him suffer so terribly. But, he remained wary both of his injuries and also his own issues with physical contact. He knew Jesse would have hugged him close, but he felt incapable of doing the same. As if all capability of human closeness was lost with his humanity. Jesse gestured for Genji to come closer, so he awkwardly perched himself on his bed and leaned towards him, receiving a small kiss on the cheek (his metal plating, technically). Genji raised a hand to his cheek, hoping Jesse would not notice his rising blush, and sighed. “You’re so strange.”

“You wouldn’t have me any other way~” Jesse giggled and held Genji’s human hand, running his thumb across the back of his hand. “Angie said I’ll be okay soon. Nothin’ too serious, jus’ a bit of blood loss.”

“I figured you lost a bit of blood, all things considered.” 

“Damn, Genji? Makin’ a joke? I must be dreaming!” The atmosphere now much warmer, Genji curled up into Jesse’s chest, now laying on the bed beside him. 

“If either of us is dreaming, it’s me. You’re too lovely.” Jesse’s heart began to race, which Genji listened to eagerly. 

“Hey, you li’l-” Reyes stirred in his sleep and the two paused completely, staring at him in hopes they didn’t wake him up. Jesse turned back to Genji, his voice a whisper, “He ain’t left my side since I was admitted. He eats in here ‘n’ everythin’.” Jesse smiled, and Genji felt a pang of jealousy. He knew jealousy had no need, for Reyes and Jesse had a relationship incomparable to the longing Genji felt for Jesse. Still, he lay on Jesse’s chest, scowling to himself about how he should’ve been here the moment the other was. “Still, I woulda liked it if you could’ve been here, too. I missed ya.” 

“...I missed you, too.” The doctor who let him in then walked over, claiming they had to reapply Jesse’s bandages and give him medication - in other words, kicking him out. He squeezed Jesse’s hand before going, ‘I love you’s stuck in his throat. He had not said those words in years. They felt alien to him now. 

Eventually, he reached their room. It felt empty, without Jesse’s warm presence, and it reminded Genji just how much he hated being alone. He wandered over to Jesse’s side of the room, digging out his serape from under his bed. Genji’s eyes shifted to the window - the stars seemed dim now their main source of light had been injured. Making sure the door was shut, Genji curled up on Jesse’s bed and draped the serape over him like a blanket. He curled into it, feeling tears form in his eyes. 

It would do for now.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> me: oh the last few chapters were so nice to write, they were rlly soft and cute and  
> me to me: angst. now.  
> yeah, i did cry writing this. why do you ask? IM SORRY I JUST.... DIDNT KNOW WHERE TO GO WITH THINGS, SO I WAS LIKE....... pain. pain time. I AM AWARE THIS IS QUITE A BIG JUMP TIMEWISE BTW BUT TRUST ME. I WILL FILL GAPS AND I AM GOING SOMEWHERE WITH THIS. tia big brained i promis  
> tumblr: @tousakamis


	13. Chapter 13

The clock struck 2:00am. Days had passed since initial admission to the medical ward. If you were to ask Jesse how many, he wouldn’t be able to say; there is only so long you can stare at the same ceiling before your grip on reality fails you. But, he was to be let out in the morning. Though forbidden from doing anything athletic until his wounds recovered, he was lucky to not have suffered from many injuries. The shot did not reach any of his organs, so they were free from damage, and the only issue was quickly resolved with a few blood transfusions. Visitors were limited, doctors wary of his condition worsening, but Genji had not left his side. He would often be forced out. For somebody who didn’t like others and never bothered with them, his effort to see Jesse was quite adorable. But, when alone with only your mocking shadow, you become restless. The ceiling seemed to be sick of him, and the feeling was mutual. His eyes shifted over to Reyes, who slept on the chair beside him. He hadn’t left Jesse’s side either, refusing to do any form of commander work until Jesse recovered. The care others held for him made his chest feel warm. Climbing out of his bed, he draped a blanket over Reyes and made sure nobody was patrolling around.

He’d be back soon.

Jesse slowly opened his bedroom door, clutching his stomach with his free hand. This walk, as he knew it like the back of his hand, took no time at all compared to the mile it usually seemed to be. And his premonition of goodness seemed to be correct, as Genji was curled up on  _ his  _ bed using  _ his  _ serape as a blanket. He paused at the door for a moment, heart racing as he stared over at Genji lovingly. Jesse presumed tonight was not the first time he did so, and he internally slapped himself for not being here for him. But he was here now. And, walking over to Genji, he noticed just how peaceful he seemed contrary to his usual distressed restlessness. Wary of startling him awake and receiving a blade in his throat, he sat on the edge of the bed, just staring at Genji in adoration of his blissful expression. Genji stirred, making a whirring noise as he slept, and gradually woke up.

He looked at Jesse for a moment, then threw himself upright. He clutched his head with one hand and threw Jesse's serape back at him with the other.

"J-Jesse…?" His head heavy, he fell back onto the bed, Jesse laying beside him. The two were on their sides looking at each other, though Genji believed himself to be in a dream. "Are you meant to… are you  _ allowed _ to be here?" He mumbled groggily, rubbing his eyes both due to fatigue and disbelief. 

"As long as no one finds out!" Genji lowered his eyelids for a moment, fighting the urge to fall back asleep as he shuffled closer to Jesse.

"You're breaking the rules," his smile broke through in his voice despite his attempt at a stern tone, "and… you broke them to see me."

"Of course! You're the only one I really wanted t'see, and they never let ya stay. Besides," he gestured to his stomach, "I'm being let out in the mornin'! I'm just a li'l early!" Genji rolled onto his back, unclicked the metal plating on his face, and placed it near the wall. He turned back to face Jesse, who lit up at the sight and buried his face in the duvet, failing to hide his growing blush. He mumbled into the bed, "Yer far too cute, you can't go givin' me a heart attack like this." Jesse felt Genji run a hand through his hair, a soft gesture full of care.

“Jesse, you’re the cute one. You go all soft whenever I’m around, and you blush a lot... I- I like it.” Talk of love still felt unnatural in his mouth, so he substituted it for a better word. A word that didn’t feel like it would betray him.

“You seem to like me quite a lot, it’s no wonder ya like it.”

“Mmm, maybe.” Genji flopped onto Jesse’s chest, who proceeded to wrap his arms around him. “I’ve been wondering for a while. Have you ever… dated anybody before?” 

“Why, are ya figuring out your competition?” Sitting himself upright, so his disappointed scowl could be seen in all its glory, his pout broke into a smile as Jesse grinned back and sat upright with him. “But nah, never dated a soul. Never done-” he made an awkward gesture with his hands, the words he did manage to say unintelligible, “-that, or anythin’... why’d you ask?” 

“No reason. I just wondered, considering how much you flirt.” There was a reason, but one he found too embarrassing to say. 

“Yeah, nah. Everyone in Deadlock was doin’ that stuff. Havin’ fun, experimenting as teens do. I found it all kinda scary, no matter how I tried to hide it.” He adjusted himself so his back faced the wall, and gave his back a rest with Genji mirroring him. Jesse sighed.

It’s not like he wanted to cling to his childhood, rather the opposite. He wished to grow up fast, to not be chained to childish restrictions and titles. Yet, a younger version of him cried, wishing he did not have to grow up so fast. Begging for everyone to stop treating them the way they did. To look in a mirror was to see this weeping child who had so much torn from his grasp. In all honesty, Jesse hadn’t seen his true self in the mirror in years.

“I’m… I’m sorry.”

“Ain’t nothing to apologise for. There’s good in every situation! Angie tells me that when I get all depressin’ like this. It always turns out to be true!” A heavy weight lowered itself upon his heart, as he wondered if his good luck was due to expire. Genji grabbed the hand he laid onto the bed, reassuring him it wasn’t so.

“Angela always seems to be right.” Genji pulled his knees up to his chest and held them close with his spare hand, still holding Jesse’s hand with the other. Words failed him; he wanted to offer the support Jesse so obviously needed, yet all he could do was sit beside him. He offered him a weak smile, hoping his intentions were understood. Jesse’s mouth fell open for a moment, with his face set alight with a fierce blush, then smiled back at him.

“Thank you. I appreciate you listening. Now, I’m gonna ask ya - have you been in a relationship before?” Genji sighed, his smile growing and gaining genuinity at the sight of Jesse’s intrigue. He truly wanted to know, he had interest in Genji’s past… how could he be such a sweetheart? He felt obliged to make the stars in his eyes shine brighter.

“Yeah. Actually, before all of this, I was a…” he took a break from speaking and laughed softly, “I was a bit of a playboy.” Jesse processed this for a moment, then gasped and somehow turned a brighter red than ever before.

“I mean… It ain’t that shocki- WAIT. I MEAN-”

“You really don’t think before you speak, do you? Idiot.” Jesse feigned shock, to a point of dramatics. “Why don’t you find it shocking, though?” He tilted his head as Jesse gripped his hand tighter.

"Well, I suppose it's 'cos, well… you're gorgeous, and I jus'-" He turned to face Genji, who had evidently done similar. Their noses touching, Jesse's breath hitched in his throat as the two stared at eachother. 

Their lips, their eyes, their bodies… only centimetres apart. 

Everything depended on who wished to move first, if their nerves didn't sabotage their actions beforehand. 

Jesse leaned in, leaving a small gap between their lips, as he brought both of his hands to cup Genji's face softly. This moment, mirroring so many other close calls between the two, seemed to be different. He could sense Genji's impatience, but he hesitated nonetheless. Staring for just a moment, Genji found himself unable to bare the tension. He twisted his head around so his nose wasn't touching Jesse's, leaned in completely, and kissed Jesse softly.

Now, Genji had kissed before. Drunken kisses of lust and loneliness, kisses of simple entertainment or impulse. But this, with its tenderness, seemed so different. The past few months of Jesse's affection had been bliss. Jesse would greet him with a kiss on his faceplate, or on the forehead, sometimes even his hand. The closest they ever got would be resting their head on another's shoulder, or a hug if Genji's nerves got the best of him. So, to have this moment where the entire world faded away and it was just Genji and his beloved… he called Blackwatch hell, but it seemed to be the most heavenly place of all at times.

Eventually, Jesse pulled away, but not due to distaste. Rather due to shock, as he gave Genji a wide smile.

"I've wanted to do that since the day I met ya." He moved his hands away from Genji's face, who then placed his forehead on Jesse's shoulder in what seemed to be an attempted hug.

"Was that your first kiss, Jesse?"

"...yea. Why, was I bad? Do we gotta re-do it?"

"No. It was cute. I just think you want to kiss me again." 

"Maybe so." Jesse giggled, his heart's speed surpassing expected limits. It's not like it bothered him much, for Genji's was the same.

Genji debated his humanity daily. Sometimes he felt as if he were no longer alive at all. But that moment, though so short... he felt alive, he felt human, he felt his heart race for the first time in an eternity. Jesse's presence did that a lot - Jesse made everything seem real, his actions reminiscent of the past. Genji hated his past. He hated his present, too. 

But with Jesse, he saw a future.

So maybe everything wasn't that bad.

Yet, when he opened his eyes, everything seemed to have gone backwards.

He was no longer in Jesse's arms. He was in Hanamura - his former bedroom, to be precise. Clasping his head in his hands, he noticed how both were human. No wiring tearing him to shreds. With a lunge forward and his reflection greeting him in the mirror, he saw a man whom he hoped to never see again.

Green hair spiked up with hair gel, green eyes with small pupils and a wide stare, human skin…

No. No. No no no no no no. It couldn't be. Either he was dreaming, or life had decided to play a cruel time trick and ruin him again and again and again. His breathing rose and rose, only for him to feel the horrible constricting of his ribs. Right, his binder that he forgot about considering the fact one half of his chest had been chopped off. He clutched his chest, unsure whether to break his ribs into itty bitty bits from panic or to try and regulate his breathing like a normal person would. Neither worked, for the sharp pains pulsing through his body like electricity did not seem to leave him be. 

He knew what was awaiting him, yet this pain seemed to ruin him…  _ oh, you poor soul. You don't know anything. You're going to watch yourself die again, and everyone will laugh at your corpse. _

"Genji. A word." Right on cue, Hanzo walked in with trembling hands. A face that Genji wanted to scar up and destroy, not have to pretend to understand. He'll never understand why Hanzo did such a thing, yet he has the audacity to tremble and look pitiful? Knowing what he was about to do? What a fucking joke. Claiming to be the victim when it is he that holds the murder weapon.

"What." Genji spat out words, his chest still aching. He didn't want to see Hanzo's face ever again. His disgustingly anxious face which stared at his brother as if he were already a corpse. Genji clutched his hands into fists, as they trembled from the rage bubbling inside of him. He had never been an angry person, he never held a grudge. But now, acquainted with the concept of revenge, anger seemed like a sweet ally. It guided him to the right decisions, when blinded by the red that he wanted to paint across everyone in this godforsaken clan.

"It's about inheriting the clan." As the clan crossed his mind, Hanzo piped up again. Genji wished to burst his voice box so he wouldn't have to listen to his murderer. "Are you still adamant? Father may have a soft spot for you, but the rest of the clan are growing impatient. I am asking you to reconsider your options and do the correct thing. Amend yourself." Such bold commands that Genji wanted to spit back at him. 'Do the correct thing'?  _ You are about to kill me, Hanzo. You should be fixing yourself. _

"I've made up my mind, Hanzo. What are you going to do?" Words like venom seeped through his teeth. The fact he continued to walk himself down the path of his demise, knowing what awaited him at the end of the road, seemed foolish. But his other option was to agree with faces he wished to tear to shreds. Offering kindness when desperation for their blood rushed through your head like a constant migraine would naturally fail.

"Please. Please reconsider. Or I'll have to use force to persuade you." He brought out his bow from his back, tears forming in his eyes.

"No! I'm not changing my mind." Genji grabbed his sword from his bedside, hoping he would succeed this time. But he knew his fate. "If you want to convince me to take on this stupid clan, then please. Do use your 'force'." 

He ran outside, Hanzo pursuing him. Instantly, a bow impaled his back, throwing him off his feet and onto the floor. He crawled backwards, challenging the bow that Hanzo attempted to slam into him with his sword. Unintentially cutting his hand with the blade, he tried to channel his breathing properly like his father taught him. Unfortunately, his father had not taught him the procedure for when your brother starts attacking you with intent to kill you. 

"You are a fool! I have always tried to understand and support you, but is this really what you want?! You are a Shimada. Your family should matter more than your silly relationships and fun! So why, why are you so adamant?!" Hanzo kicked him in the chest, causing him to gasp panickedly. His chest still ached, so the contact made sickness brew in his stomach. His grip on his sword broke and he kicked upright, trying to get Hanzo away from him. Trying to prolong his survival.

"I don't care about the clan, Hanzo. I never have! And if you supported me, you would not be trying to fucking kill me!" He swiped at Hanzo, his anger inhibiting his aim as he only grazed his cheek. Due to the weak grip on his sword, Hanzo swiped it from his hands and struck down. The sharp shock threw his back to the ground completely, feeling life slowly drain from him.

He knew what was coming next.

His eyes closed just before his world went black again.

When Genji woke up, he screamed.

His breaths quick and sharp reassured him he was alive. That it was just a horrible dream, remembering what happened. But it all felt so real. His chest still ached as he placed a hand to it, feeling for his replacement body. Something that brought him such disgust was now his only source of comfort in this state. A river of tears fell down his face.

He didn't even realise he had fallen asleep.

"Hey, hey… Genj, mi amor, please look at me." Genji perked his head up, remembering whose arms he'd fallen asleep in. The two laid on the bed, curled up together. Jesse's face had been etched with worry, scaring Genji further. "It's okay. It's okay, it's okay. It was jus' a bad dream, you're here. You're still here with me." His eyes stung terribly with tears, ridding his sight of the only thing he wanted to see. "What happened? Or do ya not want to be reminded of it?" Resting his head into Jesse's shoulder, Genji reached around him to find Jesse's serape. Jesse noticed this and grabbed it for him, wrapping it around the two of them. Tears were forming in Jesse's throat, as his heart screamed of worry. 

Jesse never dealt well with other people crying. He was good for lightening the mood when it was already light, but not when it was so dim. Yet, he was going to try. Because he never wanted to see Genji cry like this again.

"Jesse… Jesse, I-" he choked up more tears, unable to say the words he so desperately wanted to say.

"I love you too Genj, I do. I'm so sorry you had such a nightmare, but I'll protect ya from 'em now."

He curled up in Jesse's arms, falling asleep once again.

This time, he dreamt of a life he wished to pursue. One where he loved himself, and the one he loved was with him too. 

It seemed unrealistic, but so did Hanzo's betrayal before it happened.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HELLOOOOOEEEE I AM POSTING THIS JUST AS I'VE SEEN THE NEW CHRISTMAS EVENT LEAK AND I AM LITERALLY!!! SO HAPPY RNNNNN!!!!!! THIS CHAPTER HAS A LOT..... BUT I HOPE U ALL ENJOY...... this is the longest chapter yet (3k) and i just!!! care these boys a lot ;-;  
> tumblr: @tousakamis


	14. Chapter 14

“I should’ve expected it.” Reyes walked in, staring over at the two. They held each other as if they’d lose each other, curled up together under a blanket barely covering them. 6:00am - well, a few minutes past. Reyes had woken up earlier, as if a premonition of change had hit him. Clearly, that premonition seemed to be correct, as when he had looked to his side Jesse had vanished. The concept didn’t scare Reyes, however. He knew Jesse, and he could sense danger in the air as it thickened and twirled around your neck. But, this situation seemed more befitting of a title of longing. So, ensuring he did not disturb any doctors, he went to the first place he expected to find Jesse. If not in his room, he would be on the roof, watching the stars like they were an old friend of his. Luckily for him, he was in the first location. As expected. Reyes sighed deeply, approaching the two lovestruck fools. 

To Reyes, romance was pointless and agitating; he never bothered hiding his disgust at PDA.

Yet, anytime he watched these two flush red at eye contact, hold each other's hands to ease each other’s anxieties and fears, or get flustered when sparring to the point of laughter and jokes… he found himself rooting for them and their dysfunctional relationship. “Seriously, you two? You’re lucky it was me that walked in and not some rando.” As he sat on the edge of their bed, Reyes readjusted the blanket so it covered them both, moving Jesse’s serape slightly to the side. He patted Jesse’s head softly as he spoke again. His words, a soft whisper, fell from his mouth as he found himself at ease. “Well, I’m happy for you both. You two get along surprisingly well, considering me and Ana bet about how long it would take you two to get re-roomed. I just hope it lasts.” 

“Do you usually talk to yourself, Commander?” Genji rose from the bed, rubbing his eyes wearily. In that moment, he realised he had fallen asleep without his faceplate, and panickedly felt around the bed to find it.

“It’s a’ight, kid. I saw you when… that happened. It’s not like I’d ever judge ya.” Genji relaxed slightly, though he ran a hand through Jesse’s hair in an attempt to calm himself fully. “Oh, and I wasn’t talking to myself. I was thinking out loud. There’s a difference.”

“If you say so…” Genji yawned, raising a hand to his mouth as he spoke. Though Reyes seemed unfazed, Genji felt wary. However, he didn’t want to challenge Reyes in case he were to be annoyed, so he simply covered his mouth. “What brings you here?”

“Wanted to find out where he got to.” Reyes gestured to Jesse, who had now wrapped arms around Genji’s waist where he had sat up. If it weren’t for Genji’s fatigue, he would be a flustered mess and freaking out at this development. Instead, he smiled softly, moving the blanket so it didn’t cover Jesse’s head. “I kind of knew he’d come to find you, all things considered. He’s pretty head over heels for you, though he’d be too embarrassed to say it out loud.”

“Well, I’m glad the feeling between me and him is mutual.” A soft giggle escaped his lips, fluttering into the air like a butterfly. 

All of Genji’s life had been filled with desire. Hands reaching anywhere they could, grabbing at him desperately. He had grown used to that life, so to experience love that left butterflies in his stomach, electricity pulsing through every hand touch, and the warmth of another’s embrace… After all he had endured, he felt at bliss in these moments. Few in number, plentiful in satisfaction.

“Look, I’m no nagging parent, I’m not gonna instruct you on how to treat Jesse. All I’m saying is… treat him well. He deserves somebody who treats him well; he’s been trashed around since childhood.” Reyes mumbled, covering an eye with his hand as he turned to Genji.

“You speak like I haven’t experienced anything similar.”

“I’m jus’ sayin’. I know you know how it feels, so you’re gonna look after him, but… I gotta protect him, y’know?” Genji smiled softly, watching Reyes blush slightly.

“I’ll treat him well, I promise. That would just be me repaying him for all his kindness, after all.” And, almost on cue, Jesse began to stir in his sleep.

“Right, here we go…” Reyes turned away again, dragging his hand down his face in a state of fatigue. Jesse, rising from his slumber, attempted to sit himself upright with one hand as he mumbled incoherently to himself. He fell back onto Genji’s chest, causing them both to fall back onto the bed. Genji rolled his eyes, wrapping his arms around Jesse as he slowly made his words make sense.

“Reyes…? Genj…? God, what time is it?” Jesse groaned.

“Around half past 6, I’d assume. Good morning, mijo.” Reyes responded, now sitting cross-legged on the end of the bed. He yawned, causing a mirror effect in the two in front of him, and Genji giggled again. 

“Reyes, why’re ya here? I ain’t got caught, have I?” Almost rhythmically, Genji ran a hand across Jesse’s back, causing him to fidget from how it tickled.

“Nah, you’re good, kid. At least, I think so.” The three turned to the door, going quiet to listen for any noise from outside. Met with silence, they presumed the mission a success and went back to talking. “If they do get annoyed, I’ll deal with it. It’s not like they’d want to argue with Commander Reyes when he’s currently  _ super pissed off 24/7 because he can’t accept criticism _ .” He paraphrased the whispers of current gossip. The arguments between Commanders only seemed to grow as time progressed, and it seemed to spell doom. They could act professional, but the moment doors closed behind them they would scream as if no one else could hear. The truth was, many could hear, and many spoke of what they heard. Such events cannot go undocumented, after all. It just depended on whether you were curious or you covered your ears well enough. Genji had tried to cover his ears, but the pathetic mechanics digging into his skin increased his sensitivity to noise and touch. He had been used to both in his youth, but exposure to either now threw him into a distressed state… and he’d certainly not hidden that distress since his arrival into Blackwatch. 

“Thank ya, padre.”

“No problem. You can always trust me, I hope you know that. I won’t ever do anything that puts you at risk.”

“Commander, what the hell do ya think you’re doing? This wasn’t part of the plan!” Time went by in a blur, and the next thing Genji knew, their lives were at risk. Rialto, a failed mission like many others. But this was different. Reyes, in his frustration, shot Antonio Bartalotti, a member of Talon whom they intended to interrogate and find information about his colleagues from. Of course, he had anticipated their arrival, and could cause their downfall. So, instead, Reyes caused his. A method of solving the problem, yet it caused an unmatchable uproar awakening the city. Genji’s heart pulsed with bloodlust and desperation, eyes flickering around the room as he analyzed escape.

“Well, I guess we’re going with Plan B.” The four ran out, knowing what awaited them on the other end of the door; Talon troops summoned to avenge their fallen. Clearly, they did not realise the desperation Blackwatch bore to escape. Genji ran around, impaling the ‘necks’ of fellow robotics with shurikens as Jesse shot them down with his Peacekeeper. Any injuries sustained as they escaped were fixed by Moira, as they had gotten to the point of not questioning her methods; as long as they were well enough to run and fight, it didn’t matter. An assassin, a sniper, a heavy assault… all struck down in moments. Eventually, after the blur of fighting, limbs of mechanics strewn across the floor, as the four panted and caught their breath… they were free from Talon’s grasp, but the media took names. 

They were no longer in private eyes, hidden by Overwatch. Everybody knew their faces and everybody knew their names. Blackwatch could no longer function under this spotlight, for its entire purpose was secrecy under the stars.

So, as Blackwatch no longer had purpose, what point did it serve to Genji?

He could find other things to do with his time. Find himself, feel at peace with who he has become. Take time for himself rather than being a killing machine controlled by those who do not realise what they’re doing.

Yes, he could do this. And he knew what he would be leaving behind, yet he still felt as if he had to leave. A sharp pain hit his chest, realising what he was doing and the impact it would serve on those he held so dear. But he couldn’t stay, not when his uses expired. He shuffled around his room for the last time, closing the door as he exhaled deeply. He walked over to his bed, taking everything he owned and wanted to keep. Though his brain begged for him to take nothing, for the memories intertwined within these items would cause heartaches, he still grabbed them as he pulled a hoodie over himself. Preparing himself for goodbyes did not seem as hard as anticipated, but those few steps over to Jesse’s bed seemed to take years. Eventually reaching Jesse’s side, he ran a cold, metal hand over Jesse’s forehead, wanting to kiss it but refraining from doing so - he knew if he were to show affection and weakness now, he would never leave. It was bound to crash and burn eventually, Genji tried to reassure himself. But he knew of the lies he spouted, as tears stung at his eyes. 

He loved Jesse, more than he’d ever loved before. 

But to stay with Jesse was to accept a life of murderous escapades and self-hatred. The venom bubbling in Genji’s chest caused permanent sickness, as he begged for the critical voices in his head to stop. He had once loved himself and turned away this sort of life, so why had he become the thing he swore against? He had to leave… he just hoped Jesse would understand. Genji approached his bedroom door, turning back once more as he opened and closed it for the last time.

That night, Jesse slept alone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> im gonna be perfectly honest writing this chapter made me tear up... i swear what happened at the end will make sense next chapter!! everything will have a happy ending, or i'm not tia makochiu!!!!!! btw, i doubt i'll update this beforehand, so merry christmas to those who celebrate it!! and to those who don't, have a good next few days! <3  
> tumblr: tousakamis


	15. Chapter 15

Where Blackwatch had fallen, Overwatch was sure to follow. It happened shortly after Jesse left, to pursue his own path, similar to Genji a while prior. A freak accident, they said. Gabriel Reyes and Jack Morrison had been pronounced dead, yet no bodies were found. Many blamed Reyes for the accident, sobbing for the loss of the Strike Commander… Jesse knew it was bullshit. Even if Reyes were to have done something drastic, he would never have done so unprovoked. Though his decisions could be questioned, they were never without reason. 

Yet, with his supposed betrayal in mind, Jesse had been the only one to visit Reyes’ grave over all those years. The compulsory flowers had long since wilted.

It’s not like what happened with Overwatch bothered Jesse much. He had pursued his own path, losing an arm and gaining constant eyes in his back. Red eyes, burning into his soul to analyze every decision and every fault he’d ever made. Sometimes he wondered how his old friends were, though only one remained on his mind throughout all those years; Genji Shimada. 

One day, shortly after the Rialto mission, Jesse woke up to Genji’s departure. It hurt, definitely. His heart ached for months, and sometimes when no one else was around he would cry. After how close they’d grown, to the point of a relationship, he just left Jesse. Without a goodbye. Of course, Jesse wasn’t resentful or anything similar. He had come up with assumptions as to why, and he didn’t see the point in holding a grudge. Sparks flew in an area where they shouldn’t have been able to, they were bound to be put out eventually. Jesse knew this. But it didn’t stop him from lying awake at night, wondering where Genji had ended up. Wondering if he missed Jesse like Jesse missed him. He wouldn’t have called Genji his boyfriend at that time, as nothing official had been established, but a hole formed in his heart as if that were the case. 

And, when staring at an invite to the newly established Overwatch, of course Genji were the first to come to mind. Jesse knew Winston, the invite’s sender, briefly during his Blackwatch years. And, he also knew Lena would have accepted the invite. He’d heard about her adventures in London, alongside her losses. Of course she’d grasp an opportunity for justice when handed it.

But, what about Jesse? Did he really want to rejoin Overwatch? He already had enough on his plate, what with being hunted constantly by those who hungered to end his tales of justice. He dispelled justice, in his own way. Overwatch just seemed to be a chance for bad memories to resurface, and the thought of returning left a bad taste in his mouth, worse than the taste of nicotine.

Maybe Genji would have received the invite. Maybe he would have accepted it. Or he would have crumpled it up and spat at it, wondering why they’d want him back after all they did.

Well, there was only one way to find out.

“Howdy…?” An unknown face greeted him. A soft face, sparkling brown eyes hidden behind glasses. She stared up at Jesse for a moment, tilting her head slightly as she tried to make sense of the sight she beheld. Furrowing her brow, unable to link his face to a name, she turned around and prompted him to follow.

“What’s your name? I’m sorry, Winston told me the old member’s names, but I don’t recognise you… I’m sorry if I’m being rude!” Her voice, expectedly, felt like music to Jesse’s ears. It matched her face - cute and welcoming. She turned back around again, readjusting her glasses with one hand as she panickedly shook another. Her steps, more resembling stomps, seemed to follow a rhythm, as Jesse followed eagerly. Of all greetings he anticipated, a cute girl was not one of them. But he wouldn’t complain.

“S’alright, doll. I’m Jesse Mccree. What’s your name?” She placed a hand to her chin as she thought, then gasped and stopped in her tracks.

“Oh, of course! I’m so silly, you’re Mccree!” She giggled, twirling a strand of hair around her finger. “I’m Mei-Ling Zhou. I’m a new Overwatch member, so we haven’t met before. I’m a climatologist.” Jesse had also paused in his steps, mumbling ‘climatologist’ under his breath as he tried to figure out what it meant. While not exactly a fool, words with obvious meanings would often be forgotten, leaving people to assume such idiocy of Jesse. “I work with the weather and things like that. My main thing is ice, it’s  _ cool _ !” Offering finger guns to Jesse, he laughed wholeheartedly and placed a hand on his hat. His expectation of this being a mistake had been disproven almost instantly. And, to amplify this effect, Jesse looked up from his state of amusement to see Lena awestruck at the end of the corridor.

“No way. No way. Jesse!” She blinked over to him, and though her speed could not be challenged, he managed to outstretch his arms just in time to catch her in a hug. “I missed you so much! I thought you’d never accept the invite, Echo told us you weren’t bothered about us!” Jesse placed her back on the ground where she had leapt from, and returned the hug for a moment before pulling away. To his side, Mei offered thumbs up and ran off, presumably to find the other members for this reunion.

“Change o’ plans. Thought I’d come offer a hand, but uh…” He gestured to his metal hand with his human one, “I only got one now.” Lena looked up, down, up again. She then attempted to stifle a laugh, which only seemed to make her snort.

“Seriously? You disappear on me for years and you come back with the lamest joke I’ve ever heard? I love ya, Jesse. Never change.” She nudged his arm and laughed again, only to grin with a sort of triumph. “Oh yeah, you owe me £10.”

“Wha-?”

“We made a bet, back then. Whichever one of us got a partner first would get £10 from the other. I have a girlfriend now! Her name is Emily! And she’s so cool! You two, you would get along great. Now you’re back, you simply have to meet her.” Crossing her arms, Jesse gasped and hugged her again.

“Dios mío, Lena! Congrats!” Though his mind flickered to what happened in Blackwatch, he flicked it away (almost physically, though he restrained his arm) and tried to focus on the present. “I’ll get that money to ya eventually. Ya never forget these things, do ya?”

“Nope!”

“Oh my god! It’s really true! Jesse, my friend! You’re back!” A booming voice from the end of the corridor - Reinhardt. Behind him stood many other faces, the only two Jesse recognised being Angela and Fareeha.

“Howdy, y’all. Do I gotta reintroduce myself?” He tipped his hat, and a short girl with long brown hair giggled. Jesse could have sworn he recognised her as a celebrity, but names failed him.

The one face he truly wanted to see was nowhere to be seen. Hope almost gave up on itself, before Angela glided over as if she had wings and tugged on his sleeve. 

“Don’t worry, he’s here too. He’s just being, well, himself, so don’t look so down. How have you been?” She mumbled, figuring out his intentions even before he had done.

“Oh, Angie, how I’ve missed you and yer dumb level-headedness.” Tears welled in his eyes, as he stared at her with a quivering lip. She and Lena outstretched their arms, and everyone ran over to him to hug him. The new members interrogated him while the old ones sobbed as they had finally reunited with the cowboy.

He was home.

After everyone departed, to concern themselves with their own problems, Jesse tugged on Angela’s sleeve and gestured to an empty room. She sighed, opening the door for them both and letting him inside. A small room that would unwittingly hear of repressed feelings amassing years. She perched on the edge of a table near the window, prompting Jesse to do the same. Dread controlled his heart beat as he found himself unable to make eye contact.

“What were you up to since we last spoke?” Angela spoke, avoiding the subject both obviously wanted to address. A sense of relief caused Jesse to sigh.

“Not much. Doing odd jobs here ‘n’ there. Got in a bit of trouble. Looked after myself, sometimes forgot about that part. But I’m here, I’m alive!” Though he doubted he would be here for long, what with the cash and targets tied to his name. She seemed distraught, though she cleared her throat and tried to wipe the worry off her face.

“I see… How’s your health been? Both mental and physical, for the record.” She had begun performing a doctor's check-in, which was to be expected. She had not seen this patient of hers for years.

“Physically I’m a’ight. Smokin’ ain’t fared me well, and I lost an arm, but I’m healthy other than that. And mentally, well… I’m stressed as fuck, and I constantly worry, but I’ll be a’ight. Always am!” Tears formed in his eyes as he spoke, despite his insistence of being well. Angela noticed this, and grabbed tissues from her pockets.

“You’re safe with us now, Jesse. I promise we’ll protect you from everything. Please try to look after yourself and your physical health. I’ve told you how bad smoking is!” 

“Thank ya kindly… but hey, what about you? How’s everythin’?” He wiped at his eyes, hoping to change the subject off of himself. A glimmer in her eyes signalled understanding, and she followed the changed subject.

“I’m doing well. I, um… pursued a personal relationship, and well-”

“WHO THE HELL STOLE MY ANGIE’S HEART AND GOSH DAMN I AM SO HAPPY FOR YA!” Jesse almost shouted, jumping up from his seat and grabbing Angela’s hands, watching her face heat up to a warm pink. Angela had finally found someone! She deserved it, Jesse thought. After how much she does for others, she deserved somebody to appreciate her and give her the love she deserved. 

“You met her earlier. Mei.” Angela shyly tucked hair behind her ear as she avoided eye contact.

“Mei? Oh, gosh damn, she’s so adorable. Y’all are adorable. Gonna make a man cry here!” Angela stood up, embracing him in a hug as he held her close and grinned.

“While we’re on the subject of relationships, Jesse… you can’t avoid him forever. I know he’ll try to avoid you like it’s a sport, so make the first move.” Pulling away from the hug, she grabbed his hands once again and gripped them tightly. Her face had tightened up, matching the stern tone she bore. He was bound to pop up eventually in this conversation, but Jesse hadn’t expected it to be this soon. “He’ll probably be in his room. It’s clearly labelled, so just storm in there and scream out your innermost desires that you held back since day one.” Sighing deeply as she ushered Jesse to the door, Angela jokingly grimaced. “We’ve had him moping about base since he returned because he missed you so much. Go get him.” Deja vu rushed through Jesse’s head, those words and this action having happened so many times before. Maybe this time, he’ll fulfill everyone’s requests, and maybe his desires too. 

Well, Jesse had reason to be here now. He almost skipped over to the hallway he needed to visit.

Genji sat, staring at the ceiling. Jesse was back. His heart almost escaped from his chest knowing this, yet his legs glued him to his bed. He wanted to go and see him, but he didn’t want to go and see him! How confusing can his feelings get?

He thought it was a one time thing from Blackwatch. Just seeking some form of closeness when all went wrong. He certainly did not expect to be yearning for some cowboy he met in the worst period of his life years after. Even the one who helped him feel at peace with himself, Zenyatta, had shown playful scorn for him still being lovestruck. But, despite this, it had been Zenyatta who made Genji all that more determined to see Jesse again. He would often ask Genji about his previous affairs. Now Genji felt at peace with who he was, such conversations did not feel as heavy upon his chest. The one he often spoke of was Jesse. The relationship, one that definitely left them as boyfriends but both were too nervous to admit. The ups and downs, and the broken goodbye. He still resented himself for never saying goodbye, but he knew he wouldn’t have been able to face Jesse and speak of intending to leave him. He would either cry, or Jesse would cry, and he didn’t want to see Jesse cry. Such a beautiful face stained with tears that he inflicted upon him would only worsen Genji’s emotional state. So, with pain upon his heart, Genji had left his beloved. But he expected to meet him again, in Overwatch.

So, when he returned, only to hear from a robot he did not recognise that Jesse did not plan on accepting the invite… to say he was hurt would be a severe understatement. He was shattered. His heart ached for months, and he would be questioned by everyone about his moping; the humiliation he felt when his first interaction with global superstar D.Va was her questioning him about his ‘lost lover’ was one he could never recover from.

Now, Jesse was here. After all that heartache, all the lonely nights he wished to be holding Jesse in his arms… why, why was he so hesitant?

A knock on the door seemed to resolve all his problems. Almost leaping over to the door, he opened it slowly. Behind the door was the definition of gorgeous. Jesse Mccree smiled down at him, probably asking if he could come in. Genji didn’t really hear, for love had left him deaf in order to heighten his sight. Jesse had grown his hair out slightly, and though it maintained its messiness, it suited him. He now wore his serape, rather than simply keeping it with him, which brought Genji to notice his arms… he had a metal arm now, and he assumed Jesse would make a silly joke about them matching. His head became flooded with questions as to how and why, but none were needed now. Jesse was here. Jesse stood in front of him, beaming as if he had replaced the sun and become a personal shining light for Genji. 

God, he was so in love with Jesse Mccree.

“Genji… you look much better. I- I-” Genji hadn’t worn his faceplate in months when patrolling the base, and believed it built up for this moment. Standing on the tips of his toes, he pulled Jesse’s face towards his and kissed him, mirroring all the hopes and dreams for this day. The real thing was the best, of course. Jesse didn’t hesitate when returning this kiss, cupping Genji’s face in his hands as he leaned into him. A soft kiss, like the few they had shared in Blackwatch. But this one, with the pent up feelings finally serving a use, was different. The world around them vanished, as a floaty feeling surrounded the two. Genji found himself smiling as the kiss happened, his heart aflutter with the perseverance of a thousand butterflies prepared to fly. Eventually, it ended. Though they weren’t sure who pulled away, neither seemed willing. Jesse still held onto Genji’s face, as Genji lowered his hands slowly and smiled. His eyes almost glowed, and who could blame them? They were staring directly at their sun. “How long have you been wanting to do that?”

“Too long. And I waited too long to say this to you, too - I love you, Jesse. Please be mine.” His face going a brighter shade of red, Jesse stared with his mouth agape for just a moment as he lowered his hands. He blinked a few times, processing the words he’d just heard. On the other hand, after all his preparation, Genji stood still. His breathing rate had increased greatly, unable to handle the ecstasy of the kiss and the anticipation of hearing Jesse’s response. Many considered responses flashed through his brain, but none as good as the real thing. Exhaling deeply, Jesse looked down at Genji as he offered the same grin he gave him on the day they met - one full of love and sincerity.

“I love you too, Genji. Of course I’ll be yours, you idiot. I always was!”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tumblr: tousakamis  
> wow, it's really over... first off, i want to say a big thank you to everyone who has read this! whether you found this after the first two chapters, or you just binged it during an all nighter... i really, truly love you all and i am so grateful! i've met lovely people through writing this, like... who knew writing a mcgenji fic would make me such nice friends/mutuals?? not me in june 2020! like, did you know i nearly scrapped this because i couldn't find motivation to continue it? yeah ummm... about that.... LOL!!! im gonna make this short and sweet and simply say: stan mcgenji, they r kissig rn <3   
> (also i hope u guys enjoyed the meicy at the end..... its one of my other fave ships, and i just love mei in general ehe)


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